no mistakes .

as a child ,
i used to be fascinated
by the most intricate , complicated things ;
like puzzles
that would fit together perfectly
to become one , amazing masterpiece .

puzzle rings ;
problem solving puzzles ;
sculptures ;
etc ,
etc .

these man - made things intrigued me
because they were so ... smart xD .
and perfect .

just one little twist ;
a fault ;
one piece of out place ;
and the whole thing would fall apart .

now , when i look at the work of your hands ,
and see all the amazing , intricate things
you yourself designed ,
and your awesome plans for your children ,
so beautifully entwined ,
i cannot help but stop and wonder -
how great is our God !

every little twist and turn ;
a part of the puzzle .
every meeting ; parting part of your great masterpiece !

perfect ; enduring ; intricate .
yet still so simple .

my ' whatever it takes '
takes me places i never wished i`d go .

but it`s what it takes ,
and it takes me
closer
and closer
to you .

a little key called love .

eurgh just ate a really dodge lolly .
i swear it had like ... nut in it but i didnt notice .
cause i just ate it without looking xD .

oops xD .

my throat`s itchy now ( Y ) .
GG xD .

---

Lord , Lord , Lord ,
what should i say ?
what should i do ?
to bring you glory ...

though it`s not what i do that you will delight in , my heart cries out to you - i want to see you work ; i want to see you , more and more .

&& my heart`s desire
is to worship you
with all i am .

to know you ,
intimately .

---

iloveher , don`tdaretouchher ;
you misunderstandher .

i do too ,
but Lord , you don`t ;
you know what she needs .
every little thought running through her mind .
the mess of emotions in her heart .

i just pray&&pray&&pray that she`ll accept it .

---

the door to your heart
has already been unlocked ,
with the only key that fits .

if only you would open up ,
and let him in ;
and all the mess ,
out .

please don`t lock yourself in ,
and throw away the key ;
the little key called love .

screw the world ?

aiya .
blisters ! :( .
hurts . hehe ^^; .

oh , by the way , my ' nice shoes ' are my mum`s xD , and my mum bought me that ' little black dress ' xDDD .
lol haha :) .
ilovemymummy <33 .

even though she`s not perfect .

---

omgsh .
little kids have such nice skin ^^ .
<33

like today on the train .

but then i thought , like someday the kid will get pimples .
and ugly , oily blackheads . or maybe eczema or something dodge .

( LOL maddyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . you call me cynical xD . others call me naive . i dunno :( )

it`s like ...
perfection .
spoiled by the world`s influences .

like a world spoiled by sin .

also
just like how all of us have these awesomeeeeeeeeee great , big dreams to save the world when we`re children .
and as a speaker said at church once , these are god - given dreams .

and then the world comes along and goes ' NONONONO YOU CAN`T DO THIS ' .

you`re like ...
not smart enough
or pretty enough
or like whatever .

or like
it won`t earn you enough money
so you`ll be like fully slaving away
and you`ll regret it so much
you`ll hate your job

etc .
etc .

anyway , the reason im writing this is ,
it made me cry , once .
and i couldn`t stop , just thinking about it .

to think ; even my loved ones tell me such things .

and what`s worse :
they`re absolutely right .
and i`m like that too .
and i`ll be exactly like them in 20 years time .

sometimes ,
i want to just go against the flow .
but then , i remind myself , they`re right .
i`ll end up like ... whatever .

but i also know
that you`ve given me these gifts and talents
for a reason .
i shouldn`t just throw them away , in my stubbornness .

true ; everyone will be like ' i told you so ' .
but Lord , you promised me so .

you have a perfect plan for me .

therefore ,
i won`t give up ;
throw everything away .

instead , i`ll keep praying ; watching ; waiting .
while developing these gifts and talents .

2 Timothy 1:6- For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God
and verse 7: a spirit of power , of love and of self - discipline

something you have taught me this year ; Ecclesiastes 3:1- There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven .
i never really understood it`s meaning until this year .

MyLordyouaresoamazinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg <33 !

T_______________T .
omgsh .
go away , alex fong .

your songs are so nice , but depressing .
hehe ^^; .

tenth avenue north now teehee :) .

---

Hallelujah -

At first I am afraid but not because of fear
But the Holy of Holies is drawing me near
Your voice like thunder shakes the ground I'm on

So hide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh Lord
Hide my sin from the beauty here before Your throne
Your throne

Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slain
Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slain
And so we enter in to see Your face, yeah
We enter in to see Your face, oh God

Well I'm falling to my knees. I feel the earth beneath
With the weight of my sin, and this crushing unbelief
Could You really love me with all that I've done, oh Lord

You spread Your hands
And made a refuge for the weak and blessed
The weary, bruised, and broken
Took our sin. Inside Your wounds we hide away
Inside Your wounds we hide

i wonder
what exactly it is
you are preparing me for .

:)

i can`t wait
to find out more of you ,

putting on a mask .

i guess ,
it all comes down to this question .
one that surpasses even man`s obsession with love :
are you happy ?

true ; only ' love ' gives us that warmth ; filling that gaping hole in our hearts .
so we look for it everywhere .
but it won`t last ; sometimes ( actually ; most of the time ) even twisting to become ugly .

you think you`ll be fine . you`re pretty enough ; sweet enough ; nice enough ; some one is bound to notice you sooner or later ... right ?

but another day ; another heart ache .

how long will you keep dying inside ?
you may be ' strong ' , but again : are you happy ?

i find it really funny that you ask me questions , but you don`t really care about the answer .

so ... why do you ask me ?
you treat me like some pro who has all the answers , but only listen to the things you want to .

what i have learnt ;

don`t do it at your own time .
you never will ( have time ; or do it ) .

come
thirsty ;
with crusty , hard hearts ,
and drink
deeply .

<33

hear the sound of my breaking heart .

Hold My Heart - Tenth Avenue North <33

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

my
head
hurts
:(

town hall
is
loud
and busy
but interesting :)

i wonder why .
like every poet ; author ; artist ,
every little detail
has it`s reason .

all creation , thoughtfully engineered by its creator .

---

my comfort and my delight <33 .

everything - great or small ,
is in your hands .

and so , i surrender all to you .

you really
don`t know what you`ve got
until it`s gone .

it`s an old cliche ;
a lesson
that you keep telling yourself
you`ve learnt ,
but you still haven`t ,
had you ?

so learn to appreciate ;
love
and cherish
those people .

hold on ;
build up , and on ,
but also learn to let go
when you need to .

perhaps it`s simpler and closer than you`ve ever dreamed .

---

im so sorry ><; .
gah .
i dunno why im like that either ><; .
it`s unjustifiable , and i cant explain it .
sorry >w<; .
i wonder if you noticed .
iloveyou <33 .

---

your eyes are blacker than the velvet of the night , yet shine fiercer than the diamonds enfolded in them . forever twinkling , i can read no emotion in them , simply because they are too black .
( also , im a noob who wishes with all her heart that she could understand you , to love , protect and cherish you better . but cannot T_______T . )

your eyes are like cat eyes . sleek , smug and beautiful , like you .

your eyes have an other - worldly look about them . unfortunately , they are fake :( . still , they are mesmerising .

your eyes are tired . from screaming too much .

your eyes are just dull ; black . but when the light catches them at weird angles , and does weird , wonderful things to them , green , black , grey , brown and gold blend to produce a colour simply indescribable .

your eyes are so wide open all the time ; looking ; seeing . it felt weird to see them closed .

your eyes are the prettiest eyes i have ever seen . mischievous , yet sweet , just like your grin . though blacker than most , they shine so bright they make me smile :) .

your eyes are deep in thought a lot , or folded into the slight , barely visible frown lines etched into your face . i watch the gold flecks dance around , and wish you`d realise how simple it could be .

still , i would rather have the eyes of Love my Father has <33 .

---

i miss you :( .

tell me ; tell me ,
where are you headed with this ?

im sorry to say this to you , but it will only get worse =\ .

the road not taken .

the road not taken
is a poem ,
talking about a guy who ' took the path less worn '
and its consequences .

but what if
you had no choice ?
what if you failed , but had no other alternative but to take the path you didn`t want to go down ?

well , Lord ,
i cant wait to see where you take me from here !
it hurts , but in the whole scheme of things , you have plans i could only dream of .

this year , i`ve learnt something of using my circumstances to let you use me ,
no matter what .
( through various fails , and successes . )

it hurts , but you comfort .
and you do so much more than that ; filling up the hole in my heart with you ,
and letting it overflow , everywhere .

this , i promise you ...

i will not make promises ,
because i am human too ,
and i fail , too .

except this ; i will try my best ,
always .

just keep in mind that i will fail at that ,
and while doing that too .

---

bed hair .
from afternoon nap xD .

i need more sleep ._.

like proper sleep =\ .

tiiiiiiiiiiiiired Dx .

---

i totally agree with you .
' your faith is strong , but i can only fall short for so long ' - half of my heart ; john mayer .

but perhaps theres another alternative to failure ,
that does not necessarily involve success as the way you see it .

for orientation day , miss mc mahon talked about ' being happy ' by ' succeeding in what you want ' , and that NSG offered optimum opportunity to do this .

yeah , right . just look at daul kim .

even so , few succeed as well as she did .

perhaps the pleasure is in the journey ,
as you await something bigger and better .

---

how ironic =\ .
but i guess , it`s for the better ( thankyou Lord , that it`s not up to me )

i just wonder ...
你爲什麽已經忘記了？很快的 .

i guess its ironic either way you look at it xD .

funny , but sad .

daddy , what are you doing through all this ?
i really don`t know , but i`d love you to show me , so that i may give it my all !

daddy , they need you , as do i .

daddy , make me strong .

---

i want to fall in love with you ; over and over again <33 .

---

today i realised how bad my written chinese has become :( .

korean poem <33 ( thanks liz )

yeah .
what dugald said .
im going to miss scripture with him so much =\ .

im gonna miss jas and byl so much D; .

im gonna miss my maxdodgegirlfriends so much :( .

im gonna miss my bros so much =33 .

im going to miss you >w< . yes you :) . but i`ll be having fun shopping >D .
for a whole month :DDD .

yayayayaya ^_^ .

xD

anyways im not going . yet .

HONGKONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE - massivelyhearts -
( more than pikachu ! :D )

---

but seriously xD .
what if i died tomorrow ?
or you ?

i know i`d miss you .
so much .
it would hurt .

but i`ll see you up there ! :DDD
( the awesomest bit of being your sister xD )

still .
i`d like you to know how much you mean to me .
whatever ; whenever ; may every breath i take ; every word i speak ; every action i do be i love you .
i would hate to let you go without feeling so .

춤추라 , 아무도 바라보고 있지않은것처럼.
Dance, like no one is watching you.

사랑하라, 한번도 상처받지않은 것처럼.
Love, like you’ve never been hurt before.

노래하라, 아무도 듣고 있지 않은 것처럼.
Sing, like no one can hear you.

일하라, 돈이 필요하지 않은 것처럼.
Work, like you don’t need money.

살라, 오늘이 마지막 날인것처럼.
Live, like heaven is on earth.

<33

why are you laughing ? D;
it`s not even funny :( .
you laugh at the weirdest things ever .

but then again , like im some one to talk xD .

thankyou for making me laugh jas :) .
i feel a lot less stoned now :D .

i am sorry
that i am not cool like that .

i wish i could
but i can`t
so you`ll just have to bear with me .

but i promise you
i will try .

H2O .

water ,
in my opinion ,
is one of the most beautiful
creations
to watch ,
observe ,
enjoy
and cherish .

the rain dripping down the car window ;
ice ; delicate to touch ;
water condensing ;
each little droplet - beautiful in its own right ,
which i , in my noob - ness , do not have the capacity to describe ,
and capture it`s true beauty ,
just like its maker .

amused .

nature is amazing ,
and i am enjoying myself composing a report for commerce .
it`s so fun pieceing together words ; dissecting them ; rearranging them , each combination with its own denotations and connotations :) .

i also find the skin of ice in my cup , on top of my water amusing .
very pretty , yet fragile , and plastic - y to touch .

forgetfulness
is a terrible enemy .

so is lethargy .

and being lazy .

whatever it takes .

please , Lord ,
do whatever it takes ,
to turn me around ,
towards you .

whatever it is ,
whatever it takes .
i am weak but you are strong .

all else fades .

kyou , i feel stoned desu .
and i do really really wish i could have gone to elena`s party <33 .

my sister picked me pretty red flowers ^_^ .
- hearts - .

gomenasai ~
- awkward turtles -

and i need your love .

yours , only .

it`s great your love finds practical expression in my family and friends , and otherwise .
but at the end of the day ,
all else fades ;
you remain .

it`s great i love them , and they love me .
but your love is greater , still .

I am a flower quickly fading ;
here today and gone tomorrow ,
a wave tossed in the ocean .
still you hear me when im calling ,
Lord you catch me when I`m falling -
I am yours .

only , yours .

---

Meteor Shower - Owl City

I can finally see
That you're right there beside me .
I am not my own ,
For I have been made new .
Please don't let me go ,
I desperately need you .

I am not my own ,
For I have been made new .
Please don't let me go ,
I desperately need you .

<33

wistful .

i wish ( that ... )
but still , i don`t know what`s best for me .
i try ,
but i fail .

which is a good thing ,
in accordance with my second statement .

---

my failure is your success ; part your great plans .
my every failure and success is according to your plan .

but still , i need to let you teach me from my fails ;
do something about them ;
and do something through them .

so here goes .

thankyou for not letting me go .

being unselfish ( except it doesn`t matter anymore ) .

perhaps , this time , it`s better to leave the truth unsaid ,
if i want to be completely unselfish .
._.

but the truth doesn`t really matter anymore .

or is it really the truth ?
ireallydunno . which makes it harder .
no matter ; time to let go everything to you , Lord <33 .
:)

i will trust you to be faithful ,
as you have been ,
always <33 .

( so what about everything else . you , Lord will be who you are .
pure , sweet love . )

hot , stifling weather ( makes me stoned in an attempt to stay cool xD ) .

your irony .
scares me xDDD .

i know you mean well .
but still xD .
i just take you too seriously haha .

thankyou anyways
<33 .

---

i know you mean well too .
mean well , but not acting in what seems to be the best manner =\ .
or seeming to support it with actions .

but still .
i love you too .
no matter what .

i don`t know .
i don`t get it either .

i am thinking of : proverbs 3 : 5-6 .
&& practice what you preach ? =S

---

bestest friend ever .
you`re cool .

but our God is cooler still .

yeah . i don`t know much ; im a noob .
but i know this : only he can , and will quench your thirst .

---

thankyou jas <33 .

---

it was hot today .
and hectic .
but God did even hectic - er things .
<33 .

( and this is not ) the end .

will blog later , since it`s like ... late xD .
ed day tomorrow .

incomplete melody .

yesterday night , i was empty and lonely and sad .

i knew it - you loved me , she loved me , he loved me , they love me ; i was literally and figuratively surrounded by love , and they were all there for me - but i couldn`t feel it .

it had been so long i had forgotten what it felt like to be lonely and sad .
i didn`t doubt your love , but i doubted your existance .

because i had shut myself out from you ; too blind to see you .

i was tired , and pushed you out , thinking i was just resting , instead of drawing on your strength .

i saw the warning signs long ago , but pushed on by myself , stubbornly .

' how long ? ' , i cried to you , again and again .

i longed to see you ; feel you - again . even just a tiny glimpse of you would be enough to heal my broken heart .

but you seemed silent . where was that mighty , saviour servant King who loved me ?

i didn`t think that i could stand it anymore .

and yet , you lifted me up again , at your perfect timing , not mine .
your whole world screaming , ' i love you ' .
your love song to me .

may you fill up my incomplete melody back to you , with your grace notes .

( teehee . incomplete melody - lee hom . )

---

in the end , does it really matter ?

one year ; one month ; one minute ; one second .
you blink , and your life passes .

you think you learnt your lesson , and so because it`s your life , you will not waste it , grasping hold of every opportunity you can .

' it`s my life ; mine ! ' you say , and you`re desperate for freedom , but really you`re just desperate . desperately trying to make something of your life before it passes , wanting to be some one .

but it`s not your life ; you can`t be all you wanted , and you will die , just another faceless , nameless nobody .

jane doe ; john smith ; you grow up , get a job , earn money , spend it , and die .
a never ending cycle of futility .

absolutely charming picture . not including all the times you trample on people to get up there .

in the end , you`re still so lonesome and in need of simple , pure , sweet love ; something the world tries to hide away , to keep to themselves .

perhaps you gave the world your best , but the rest of them trampled on you for that .

perhaps you think you`re strong , but you still feel lonely . just a bit , just a little , little bit .

---

vanilla twilight - owl city <33>

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

owl city = LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D .

Psalm 23 <33

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

---

why are you so great to me , the undeserving ?
you do not hide yourself from me , and i long to see you , more and more .

diet + recount xD .

warning / disclaimer :
contains a very dodgy , incoherent recount . proceed at your own risk .
and oops . blogspot stuck it all together in mostly one big chunk . dodge ? O_O
i put in lots of cool paragraph breaks before T_T .

---

so . i told elena i would blog xD .
so here i go .

---

i am going on a ' stuff - bad - for - me - diet ' , including junkfood , facebook and msn . until ... friday ? ^^; . oh wait but my junkfood ban continues untill like ... yeah ages :) . except im failing it xD .
so if you want to contact me , call me :DDD ( hehe . i like ) . or email me on my msn account xDDD .

but i bet i`ll break my ban .
like soon .
><; I MISS YOU GUYS ALREADY ><; . --- head aching . so tired ><; . waterrrrrrrrr hehe :) . anyhow . onto more interesting stuff xD . WORK EXPERIENCE :DDD . was ... interesting hehe :DDD . ( wahh wanna go on msn to tell you guys all about it ><; ... might call jas later hehe :D ) what really struck me , though , was the amount of paper used . just photocopying , i used like hundreds of sheets . and saw like thousands of pieces of paper today . so crazy . like photocopying wills 50 pages long . was interesting to read xD . and contracts O_O . more on that later xD . anyhow . so . got to office . my mum made my boss - man sound scary :( ( cause he`s a long - time family friend xD ) . but he was so funny xDDD . and then she left . boss - man : do you wanna sign your name ? mum : sign what ? boss - man : you know . for your courier service delivery me : xDDD except it was all conducted in canto . cause yeah . they were like ' can you speak canto ? do you want us to speak english ? ' . except i like speaking canto cause I NEED TO PRACTICE MY DODGY CANTO HEHE :) . and canto is fun :DDD . anyhows . so first job i got was photocopying O_O . was fun at first , then got mundane ( HEHE YES ; ITS THAT WORD RENEE xD . ROFL ) but i wasn`t really bored anyways xD . just really repetitive . AND THEN THE LADY IN CHARGE OF ME SHOWED ME THIS REALLY COOL WAY TO PHOTOCOPY T_T . and i was like - FAIL - xD . so i photocopied for like the whole morning xD . and then i went to soak stamps , and pasted stamps on envelopes . IT WAS SO FUN MATCHING DIFFERENT COMBINATIONS OF STAMPS TO MAKE UP THE SAME PRICE 8) . the lady laughed at me for pasting 3 stamps on lots of envelopes D; . but 3 stamps isn`t that much xD . i wanted to do 4 before , but i figured it would be inconvenient to make other combos with later , if i used up all the 5c stamps . someday , i will post some one a letter made up of purely 5c stamps :DDD . teehee :) . or postcard ? i wanna send postcards in hk , but my mum will probably be >>; at me , and the post office people >>; at me for wasting my time pasting on stamps , and their time for stamping the stamps Dx .
kept doing stamps throughout the day - ish . cause they were always there , and i did them when there was nothing else to do xD .

also got given paper to shred at the end hehe . like huuuuuuuuuuge stacks of paper . and i can only shred like 2-3 sheets at once , and only a few times in a row , cause it will overheat the shredder . GG will take me ages xD . but then again , it`s ' something to do in your spare time '

anyhow . onto more interesting stuff .
went to the bank to deposit a cheque in the company trust account O_O .
felt weird .
also walked to Central Criminal Court , where my boss - man took me around for like 5 mins and explained stuff briefly xD . sounds cool !
filled in form for lady :) . and faxed it teehee .
checked some transaction records , for dealings with other companies . cant be bothered to explain on blog , cause takes too long xD . each transaction takes up a page O____O . as in like it says the date , the transaction number , transaction client , function , and price on one page . taking up a whole page . with like a full logo , address thing at top of page xD . and some of the transactions only cost like $1 something xDDD .
ripped out pages that make up contracts . each contract page comes in a separate pre-printed pack that you rip off like a page on a notebook O_O . weird .
learnt stuff about the NSW Land thingy that keeps records of every single property in NSW . and each property in NSW has hundreds of pages of stuff on them O_O . and these records have to be sent everywhere for a contract to occur xD . so cool ! hehe . complex .
learnt other interesting stuff that i cant be bothered to type .
who`s going to bother to read through all my rambling anyways ? LOLOLOL :) .

lunch was funny . all the ladies are soooooooooooooo nice ^_^ . and the guys are really funny bhahahahaha >) .
theres this uncle who goes to NSCAC :DDD . hehe . might ask NSCAC people if they know him - stalks - xD .

the office is all covered in stuff like bible verses and cool stuff like that ^_^ .
i like .
also has random bits of expensive - looking furniture , like an antique looking chinese table . but for lunch , we had sesame street placemats :DDD . random xD .

well . tomorrow , im going to the Central Criminal Court again . for a divorce application with a client ><; . very sad =\ . - sigh - . HEY i just realised . it shouldnt be criminal court xD . i dunno . will see . - fails - xD . might go downing centre sometime too :DDD . level 5 or something . dont remember what that`s about ><; . stamps waiting for me when i get back tomorrow D; . i wish i were doing legal studies next year too now ><; . SO INTERESTING ><; .

COME TO LUNCH WITH ME , IF YOU`RE ALSO IN THE CITY ? :D
( teehee . got interrogated at lunch today about going out for lunch .
boss - man : let me ask you ... are you going out with a guy or girl tomorrow ?
bhahahaha xD .
also something lame he said :
boss - man : yeah , there`s all types of courts , you know ? going up , local , district , supreme , high , etc . they - oh wait , must not not forget the most important type of court - the food court ! at least it leaves you full , you know . all the other courts are like ... whatever xD ... oh , and the badminton court too , cause you can have fun . - proceeds to talk about law courts -
bhahahahah :) )

at your feet .

psalm 8 ; lifehouse - everything ; chris tomlin - how can i keep from singing .

how could anyone stand in your awesome presence
and not be moved ;
simply by how great you are ?

when i consider simply the works of your hands -
how all the stars shine your glory ,
and as heaven declares your name -
how small do i feel !

and yet it is their maker that loves me ;
one far greater
than any
planet
or star
or universe ;
the one who spoke them into being ,
who speaks to me ;
your every word ' i love you ' .

what is man that you are mindful of him ?
let alone broken ; sinful man ,
who despised you ?

your works inspire much awe in me ;
but who you are , more ;
your love by far more .

so how can i stand here with you ,
and not be moved by you ?

how could i ever approach you ,
with anything but awe ,
at your feet ?
and yet you promise me a place ,
by your side , forever .

---

how can i keep from singing your praise ?
how can i ever say enough -
how amazing is your love !

intimacy <33 .

i love my family :
mum ; dad ; bro ; sis
^_^
all you are ; all you`ve done .
( but as for all that`s left unsaid and undone , that needs to be done , it breaks my heart . )

i love you sis :
we on a rollrollroll :D .

i love you bro :
<33
sososososo much .

i love you best friend :
we should talk more ><; ,
cause we havent been much lately .

i love you too , ' my BESTEST friend EVER ' xD .
no matter how dodge you are :)

i love you , even though you don`t know i do ,
that much .
you give me so much encouragement .

thankyou ;
never alone <33 .

i love you Lord ;
but no where near as much as you love me =33 .

---

no greater love have i ever known ;
capture my heart ,
again <33 .

what is it ?

COOL :D .

i don`t believe in coincidences ;
i believe in God .

don`t you dare -
hide away .

---

im sorry
i shouldn`t have .
forgive me ; please .
=33

---

ehehehe .
learning new words is fun .
8)

doing intellectually stimulating maths problems is fun .

playing piano for hours straight is fun :D .

or maybe it`s just me =33 .

101st post
mood ; tired .

MLIA xD .

---

so you figured it out .
now go do something about it .

things i like :

you
grace
forgiveness
freedom
purity
holy
clean
white
cherry - red
cherries
cherry blossoms
cute
green
happy
vibrant
zest
zeal
hearts
deep
wide
love
mango
fruit
strawberry
reading
writing
beautiful
music
unique
strength
light
soft
gentle
sweet
theory
hands - on
learning
life
self - control
respect
honour
servitude
attitude
eager
willing
open
sharing
crimson
romance
different
spontaneous
funny
elegance
discretion

#99 jumble of thoughts&&words .

a glimpse into my mind ;
things&&thoughts that are on my mind are / are about :

unspoken
redundancy
difference
ugly
beautiful
edgy
strain
quirky
amazing
hen ( jap for strange / weird )
addiction
longing&&belonging
sorry
thankyou
elegant
graceful
purity
perfection
mediocre
fumble
slip
wrong timing
maybe
wishful
knowing
wise
unease
flowy

once again ,
i am annoyed at myself .
ahh =S .

why do i love God , love others , but not the person He made me to be ? =\

i guess it`s something to pray about , and work with God to improve !

---

ahahaha .
said ceebs twice today .
owe jas 20 push ups ,
which i will do ... sometime ... later xD .

this is me .

random ; rough draft .

---

&& so
she keeps running
and running
and running ;
away from all the pain ,
and hurt
and emptiness
and boredom
and restlessness
she feels inside ;
drowning herself in the cheap thrills
' life ' offers .

pretend the problem isn`t there .
but it doesn`t go away , does it ?

fight it ?
so weak ...

' i can`t stand it anymore ! ' she screams ,
as her world
slowly but surely
crushes itself down
upon her ,
squeezing her life
out .

but
a pair of capable hands ;
and she gives her heart away ,
again ,
but this time to some one who will truly cherish
and love it ,
cause she knows this time
it won`t hurt .

thankyou for life <33

today
was
absolutely
amazing .

wow .

and that was only a small glimpse of the power of your spirit !

just what i needed <33 .

---

how precious is this beautiful gift of life !

well , we screw up our own ;
become dead ,
but are given the chance for a new life ;
true life .

so i was thinking ( as you do xD ) .
over john 10 : 10 : ' the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy ; i have come that they may have life , and life to the full ' .
( thankyou claudia . you really don`t know how amazing God has made you to be ; the way he uses you is just awesome ! )

so yeah .
i want to live life to the fullest , right ?
i`d hate my life to be a waste of space ; resources and love .
but there was something holding me back .

until you showed me the freedom i have in Christ , Lord .
as a kid , it was just like ' yep . no swearing . no lying . no this . no that ' .
constraints .
and i kept failing . so i got frustrated .

but wow .
jesus died for me to save me from that ! i am free , free from the bonds of sin now !

but most importantly , he rose again , to show us just how free we are !
( this is my favourite part , mattnoobgorgor :) )

use me , Lord .
let me not be caught up
in my own desires ,
and let go everything ,
to you .

i love this part <33 .

14 David stayed in the desert strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands.

15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." 18 The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.

- 1 Samuel 23:14-18

what amazing love !

and protection ; from the Lord !

perhaps
you are wrong ,
and i have not matured at all ;
in the sense that i have grown up ;
acquiring knowledge on the way .
( in fact ,
i am still nooby ,
and have become more easily - excitable
and laughable .
( at ? with ? ) . )

because i know
by my own ' wisdom ' ,
i fail .

but i have been given
what you see in me .

blessed with every spiritual blessing ,
in Christ .

my hope ( is built on nothing less than jesus` blood and righteousness )

i dare not trust the sweetest frame ;
but wholly lean on jesus` name .

---

im sorry
i keep failing you .
( && failing him too . )
i love you
but how ugly my heart is
breaks mine ;
yours too
( if only you knew ) .

yet you still love me .

if ever ; whenever
i do ,
please just remember ;
i love you ,
but im only human .

but there is a God ,
who loves you and i more
than you or i could ever love each other ,
and so ,
i have hope of someday being truly
pure
and beautiful .

wash me ,
and make me clean ,
holy and pleasing in your sight ~

but WOW .
THANKYOU , LORD .
JAS , GOD IN YOU IS AMAZING <33>i praise you God of earth and sky ;
how beautiful ,
is your unfailing love !

your grace is enough <33 ( thankfully )

---

teach me your ways !
i want to walk in truth and righteousness ;
in the certainty we have in your son <33 .

---

OMGSH IM FINALLY USING MY FAHRENHEIT MOUSE PAD HAHAHAHAHAHA :DDD .
- dodgy year 8 and 9 memories ._. - .
ahh well . fahrenheit . is . cool . despite the fact they can`t really sing xD .

&& she pours everything she has ,

into a castle ;

a castle made of sand .

&& i hope i won`t even try to .
i`ll just do my best !

and yes , there is a difference ( in this context ) .

trying ; reaching for something ( dodgy ) .
doing my best ; at something , to honour you Lord .

wash over me .

i love pretty piano music <33 .
yiruma ^_^ .

---

hehe .
carmen and i ( 車 - 男士&&笑 - 走 ) win at drawing !
even if our drawing of a ( hot ) guy failed xD .
mainly because i can`t draw guys at all haha .

carmen : - looking at my arms - . what happened to your guns ?
me : huh ?
carmen : you know how you used to have small , toned guns ? wait . flex .
me : - flexes - . OH RIGHT . THOSE O_________O .
carmen : yeah xD .
me : i ... uhh ... that was ages ago . i stopped swimming ( GG xDDD ) . - pokes flab -

haha .
care to go swimming with me again , 9SC ? :)
( renee and bella ; you know you want to xD )

FAILING
junk food ban ><; .
gah .

---

deep calm ~
let go .

thankyou BASICs <33 .

oh .
thankyou for knowing best ,
and enforcing it so .

i don`t understand myself either .

how can i love you ?
love you , more and more ?
better and better ?

or perhaps , it is simply ; let him love you .
( the better option )

---

all other ground is sinking sand .

pure <33 .

thankyou for reminding me of how beautiful God made me to be .
maybe not so pretty or gorgeous or stunning but definitely something he`s pleased with .
but what does it matter anyway ?
he looks at me and sees the love , beauty and purity of his son , not the mask of make up and cream and what not .

purity that washes away even my moody , angsty restlessness .

---

OMGSH . they don`t have the dress i really want in my size anymore . ahhhhhhhhhhhh D; .
sucks :( .

oh well .
will keep looking .

formal shopping sucks :( .

sharing is caring <33

i love you .

share with me the secrets that you kept in ;
cause it`s cold inside .

it worries me
when you don`t talk .
more so than me worrying about your problems .

so yeah . talk to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee D; . anytime :) .
or at least some one else you trust !
i love you <33 .
^_^

---

i know
all these aweeeesome
smart ; loving ; talented
people

whom i love ;
who love me ;
beyond any earthly reason why ,
even when i can`t see anything in myself to love .

thankyou , Lord .
<33

---

thankyou so much , sister ! moles were in the test ;D . but they weren`t the answer :( .
but other stuff you taught me was in the test hehe . thankyouuuuuu <33 .

undeserving .

wow .

ohmygosh .
i love my parents so much .
<33

but i love my heavenly father more <33 .

today is not one of these days . and yet ...

there are times
when i just wish
i could cry
and cry
and cry
my heart out ;
for all the physical
relief
it brings .


but my heart
is so hard
i cannot cry ;
instead ,
my soul
cries out
( from the inside out )


feeling weak and pathetic ;
all night long
i toss and turn
waiting for you to answer ;
why do i not feel you ?
answer me , O Lord .
why have i fallen ,
yet again ?

yet ,
you pick me up
without fail ;
time and time again .

hold me close ;
to your heart .
in the palm of your hands ,
i am safe .

i am so undeserving .

procrastination .

' tomorrow , and tomorrow , and tomorrow , ' you say ,
till tomorrow is no more .
and you still haven`t done it .

you study then study then study .
play ; read ; watch ; learn ; grow .

lecture ; admonish ; inspire ; encourage ; guide ; care for .

so what ,
if you don`t love ?

psalm 28 <33 .

To you I call , O LORD my Rock ;
do not turn a deaf ear to me .
For if you remain silent ,
I shall be like those who have gone down to the pit .
Hear my cry for mercy
as I call to you for help ,
as I lift up my hands
towards your Most Holy Place

---

why do you still fear , foolish little girl ?
darkness has a hold on you no more .

for while darkness flees , trembling at his voice ,
you may draw nearer , as you wait on him ,
trembling in awe .

not me .

eww .
why do i use the word ' i ' so much ?
._.

in everything ,
may i point back to you .

talk to myself .

oops ;
it`s twelve something already .
time flies ;
( even when you`re not having fun xD . )
so find something useful to do with it .

( i need ) light .

urgh .
i feel so lazy and unproductive .
ate and slept for most of today afterschool ._. .
lol ?
like . i didn`t even do that in the holidays . ( well i slept for half the day xD , but yeah )

and after sport too .
a work out ._. .

regaining all the weight xD .
( LOLOLOL i have lots of ' fat spots ' xD . which look like goosebumps . eww =33 . )

need
to
study .
haha .

oh well ; read phil`s book , and the ISCF study and stuff supporting it today .
and ended up reading other parts of the bible ( other stuff jesus said ) .
was awesome :D ; just reading his word because i felt hungry for more .

not just reading out of habit .
or a sense of obligation .

and had awesome talk with dad :) ( about boyfriends HAHAHA xD ) .
i wish i had more time to talk to him =33 .

and i guess even though i know im pretty much screwed for ipt ; like im not going to do great or anything , considering my failed study patterns , it doesn`t matter .
it`s not about the score .

i`ve learnt so much from doing ipt . not just like technical stuff , but stuff about myself , and other bigger , important things .
and had lots of fun along the way .
the only things i regret are not working harder , and for putting so much pressure on myself because of it .

so much energy and time wasted ; worrying .

i don`t know how you`re going to use this for your glory , but i hope you`ll kick the lazy me into action .

even if i try my hardest and fail , it beats being lazy and owning the test ._. .
at least i`ll know i tried .
argh .

---

thankyou , Lord .

hard to believe you still put up with me ,
even with all my sin ;
character flaws that i didn`t even know i had .

shine your light on me ;
expose all the darkness ;
&& chase it out .

for in the presence of light , there is no darkness .

---

elena . luke . elaine .
pretty names .
beautiful meaning <33 .
( && beautiful people )

you are ( who you are )

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight , O LORD , my Rock and my Redeemer - Psalm 19:14

( favourite verse <33 . thanks jas for telling me about this psalm ! )

---

CCC was AWESOME :) .

---

as we re - learnt , looking at Ezekiel today , God always keeps his promises , so i really need to trust him waaaaaaaaay more .

' if God is for us , who can be against us ? ' - Romans 8:28

---

awesome lessons and re - lessons today !

Lord , i can`t wait to see what else you have to teach me !

---

I praise you ,
for being You ;
the ' I AM who I am ' ;

you cannot go against your nature ,
and just leave us be .

---

all my B&SICs :

thankyou so much ;
i really do not know how to phrase this ;
as you can see , im not very good at this whole expressing gratitude thing ,
but from the bottom of my heart
i praise and thank God ,
for you .

---

thanks for the awesome books jas and phil !
really something to think about ,
and take action !
:)

ready ; set ; go haha :) .
equipped ; empowered ; ... go xD .

forgiven ; restored ; grateful ; blessed ; loved .

feeling blessed ~

even though im worried for ipt , and yearlies ><; .
i shouldn`t be .

god is in control ~

phew .
so much joy in being safe in his hands .
well , not just safe .
guided ,
and lifted up .

makes me think of ;

' the commands of the LORD are radiant ,
giving light to the eyes ' - Psalm 19 ( again :D )

and

' what is man that you are mindful of him ,
the son of man that you care for him ?
you made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honour ' - Psalm 8 ( yush jas ; im stealing your favourite psalms >) )

who am i ?
that the Lord of all the Earth ,
would care to know my name ,
care to feel my hurt ?

also , i have such awesome loved ones <33 .

so much grace .
yet so undeserving ._. .

simply praise .

highlights of my holidays ;

1. praying before JAAL BBQ <33
2. church :) , as always
3. getting woken up by jas this morning

yeah ; i was actually still in bed until you called xD .

but it was a great start to my day .

kept me focused and encouraged .
on God .
on study .

last night , i prayed that God would be the first thing to pop up in my mind when i woke up .

and even though you opened with talk about study ( lololololol ) , when i heard your voice , i wondered what God had to say to me today .

and he opened with psalm 19 .

simply , praise .

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his
hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night
they display knowledge.
There is no speech or language
where their
voice is not heard.

( haha . i was playing heart of worship on the piano before . it was the first song that popped into my head )
pointing back to what we`re called to do ; worship .

which i have not been doing as much as i should have ._. .

---

The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.

stronger

do you still remember ?
we`d stay out late ; talking .

sharing our dreams and hopes
under the stars ;
just dreaming the nights away .

a quiet park ;
a set of swings .
we felt like we could go anywhere .

when life was just simple .
so simple we couldn`t appreciate it .
( so sheltered . )

we wanted more , didn`t we ?
and now we got it .

well , would you give anything just to get it back ?
i would give anything to be able to move forward with you .
stronger .

i love you .
i wonder if you feel it .

come here ; let me in .
let me break you down ,
with love .

time flies . move along ; move along .

glad i didn`t .
no matter how _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .

how long ago does this all seem .

glad to see _ _ _ ` _ _ still _ _ _ _ :) .

( no ; this is something else that no one reading will understand xD )

---

how cool am i ?
not very , evidently ._. .
haha .

ugh .

---

perfection .

(
y
o
u

w
i
s
h
.
)

Love me .

“Love me,” she screams, “Cherish me; don’t ever let me go, and never ever forget me.”

“Okay,” he smiles.

Opens his arms wide.

She jumps into them. Pouting, she looks up at him expectantly. Tilts her head, brown eyes questioning, as if pleading, ‘what next?’

He simply smiles again, and leans forward to kiss her pretty, perfect lips.

Satisfied, she settles in his arms; head resting on his shoulder and sleeps. She is so beautiful, yet so fragile; her dainty, delicate fingers so pathetic in his own. He longs to just pick her up; swing her around; hear that lovely tinkling laugh again.

“I love you,” he whispers into the cold, grey morning air.

But she is already asleep and can’t hear him.

And he really does love her.

But first, he must break her heart. Get rid of all bitterness, pride and malice, so he really can love her, as she asked him to. Break those fingers; dull that beautiful mane of hair. And then she’ll be able to see how much he really loves her.

i want .

omgsh .
did i really say that ?
that`s just like totally lame :( .

funny , the things you say in deep emotion .

---

on the other hand .
tangent ;

i wonder how you`re going nowadays .
i wish we still talked .

but when we do , it`s like we both immediately run out of words to say .

im sorry for everything .

you were a great friend .
too great
to me .

i don`t blame you for it .

but i do wonder if you actually talked to me , for who i really am .
i mean , i think you did at first .
but then later , it seemed like i was just a source of entertainment .

entertainment that got boring .

i guess we never really suited as companions .
but i still , really , really miss you .

---

why am i so selfish ?
i only want the parts that i want ._. .

argh .
why do i even want it ?

i wish that i only ever wanted you , Lord .

I Need You to Love Me - Barlow Girl

Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You

[Chorus:]
But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me

Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been

sensitivity .

i know i shouldn`t care .
but i do anyway .

i know it`s one of the reasons why some people love me ; that i find joy in the randomest , smallest things . which in turn , somehow , is contagious . or something like that , making me ' nice to be around ' ._. .

yes , i enjoy delighting in the wonders God has placed in my life ^_^ .
but why do i twist yet another beautiful thing God has given me ?

reading God`s love in the world is wonderful . something you could spend a lifetime doing , and never get over it .

but when i try to read - overread - other people , disaster follows .
something small - busy stuyding ; engrossed in another conversation ; etc - becomes misunderstanding ; annoyance ; distrust ; boredom ; restlessness and the like .

perhaps it`s something else to let go .

i mean seriously this time .

always love .

ever - changing ?
i think it rather scary , to not know where i stand .

never changing ?
a rock to cling to ,
as i wait in certainty
of your promises .

---

why is it like this ?
sometimes love , sometimes not .
honestly , it gets rather frustrating at times .

whereas you , O Lord ,
are always love .

&& someday you`ll finally get it .

it`s not enough .
it never will be .

but your grace is enough .

so why - such a simple phrase - takes me endless running
about in circles
to learn ?

---

years of pre - packaged wisdom , waiting for me to open .
advice just waiting for me to heed .

must i learn the hard way ?

i would so totally marry lee hom :)

i am surprised ,
that even when i don`t feel like it ,
i can still do it .
and sometimes , very well .

but other times ,
when i try hard ,
i simply can`t .

i guess it seems like
the harder i try ,
the worse i`ll do .

but ,
i know that
it`s because im not relying on your strength
and power
and grace
enough ,
and that is why
i feel like im not getting
anywhere .

---

oh , it`s the little things , alright
that make me smile and laugh

and the little things
that get on my nerves .

but it`s the big things
( so big that they`re immeasurable :) )
that make me smile ;

so much so that i can`t stop .

( because they fight all the other , big , bad things away . )

and that is why
i should simply let go
all ' control ' i think i have
to you .

---

why
am i writing
like im writing
poetry ?
xD

---

oh where , oh where shall we find a modern day david ?
HAHAHA .

exceptionally musically gifted ; handsome ; good speaker ; good warrior + strategist ( healthy ? intelligent ? xD ) ; brave ; ex - shepherd ( humble ; gentle ; patient ? ) ; filled with the Lord`s spirit ; knew him intimately ; followed his commands ( most of the time ) ; loved him .
now is that too much to ask for ?
LOL .

but not perfect .
no where near so xD .

i guess a ' jesus wannabe ' will have to do xD .
( imitator of christ ; ephesians <33 )

---

show me love ,
and break me down

Rediscovery !

i love the feeling of rediscovery .

it`s like ,
something lost or forgotten ;
finding it again is like finding something new , but better ! , enabling you to cherish existing memories of something onced loved , and giving you the opportunity to make more .

okay that was just my rant on how i ' rediscovered ' this song i used to really like , but deleted it along with all my other downloaded music xD .

but then it`s like the parable of the lost coin , or the lost sheep !

Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."

Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

"Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

- Luke 15:1-10

( how fitting ; we`re doing parables for ISCF this term haha . )

but like WOW how amazing ;

In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents

well , i thought rediscovering god`s grace in light of how broken we are amazing . i thought him refreshing my tired , cold soul amazing .

and this post was going to be about the joy of rediscovering his love . but nothing can compare to his joy at ' rediscovering ' us ; claiming us back as his .
like how much more does he rejoice over us coming back to him ?

i mean do i truly love god ?
with all my heart , soul and strength ?
no ; i admit i don`t .
but i hope i will learn to .

and in the meantime , i will leave with a love song . from god <33 .
( thanks phil for telling me about this song ^______^ )

---

More - Matthew West

Take a look at the mountain
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am
And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday
And today
And tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to me
And I want you to know
I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday
And today
And tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more

Shine for me
Shine for me
Shine on, shine on
Shine for me

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday
And today
And tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yeaterday
And today
Through the joy
And the pain
I say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more

And I see you
And I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

---

and even this cannot capture his love for us .

i thought i could love .
but i got owned .

but now i can ; loving with his love .

i am glad :) .
but like okay .

i wish
that
i were
...
bolder ?

i guess .
thats it .

---

aww ><; .
so cute
^_^ .

---

tired ~
- glomps - .

---

is it you or is it me ?
=33

...
i think i`ll just shut up and just see what happens xD .

something to smile about ^_^ .

why , because i smile , do you think my life is going perfectly ?
why , if i give you an expensive present , do you think im rich ?
why , if i see a lot of people i know , do you think im popular ?

but guess what ?
im no fairytale princess .
( no ' tong hua ' haha . )

so you think my life is perfect and what ?
so you say im pretty , smart , privileged , blah blah . nice clothes . nice style . nice hair . skinny . funny . rich . ' loved ' .

and therefore , you think im sheltered and spoilt and idealistic .
which i am .

but has it occurred to you that i have issues too ?
problems too .

i am simply blessed .

to have such awesome parents .
awesome friends .
awesome family in christ .

who care about me .
who love me .

a god who loves me . cherishes me . smiles upon me .
who takes all my problems on himself .

so i smile :) .

why do you think im ( almost ) always happy ?
why do you think i smile and laugh so much ?

because life is awesome .
not the life ive messed up ; the new life i`ve been given .

because i have something to smile about :) .

the greatest gift , ever <33 .

can you hear the sound of all the places we could go ?

yes , let`s elena :D .
other songs too maybe ? ^_^

---

tell me , tell me ,
what makes you think that you are invincible ?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure ;
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable -
impossible .

... or not ? xD

---

imissyous :(
- hug / glomp -
rawr .

see you soon ? :)

---

wondering what you`re doing .
=33

---

maybe it`s just me .

---

yush i laugh at dodgy random stuff xD

disdain ? don`t be so high and mighty ._. . you might just learn something .

' i see . '

( no you don`t , really . )

in stating so , you are allowing yourself to be blindfolded by your own stubbornness .

in refusing to see the world from another perspective , who knows how much you`ve missed ?

sure , it may not be the right point of view , but at least by looking at your world through a different lens , you`ll be able to see things you couldn`t see before .

focus , refocus .

remove that speck of dust you didn`t see before .

well , i pray that i can see the world through your eyes , Lord .
never missing anything ; eyes of love .

times - tenth avenue north .

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

---

but still , i need to feel you .
more and more
and
more .

---

WOW . cool comment on youtube xD ;

' say theress some1 drownin in the water and you had no way of rescuing them but going in the water, bringing them back with your bare hands. what does a lifeguard do when the victim is flailing violently and drowning in the water?

they wait till the victim is tired out and has no more energy. Then they go in and rescue them.

God does that too. We are just doing ourselves more harm by trying to do things on your own when we can't. When we are weak God is strong. No1 is forcing you. '

why ( awesome song hehe :) )

laughing .
not studying , sadly D; .

okay imma take a break from bleak blogs xD , and try to blog about more ' normal ' stuff .
( well , i was going to blog another cold , ' observating ' ( HAHAHAHA . SORRY JULINA xD ) blog today , but i deleted it xD . ( wait i think it`s saved in my drafts ^^; . meh . might finish it later ) )

okay , too bads . im gonna blog deep , subliminal messages again .
( sorry ; got triggered =33 )

---

loving the edginess of secondhand serenade lyrics , and the way he delivers them with such raw , emotional honesty .
but i do dislike their emo - ness , and the way he is literally wasting away in his songs ._. .

pining .
after what ?

lost loves ?
the pain and hurt associated with them ?

- steals this bit from the draft mentioned before ( wow i actually have an intro now o_O . wow it all links ! ) -

why , when you replay a sad memory , it seems so much sadder ?
yet funny moments seem duller , inducing less laughter every time they resurface .

and it`s always the saddest , heart - wrenching stories that capture our imagination .

are we like somehow drawn to pain and suffering ?
we find it strangely captivating .
like how i find secondhand serenade lyrics beautiful o_O .

and why are happy endings so ' cliche ' when they rarely actually happen in real life ?

or maybe , it`s just me ( rambling agin xD ) . ( HEY COOL . the song i was just listening to just ended , and the last line is ' maybe it`s just me HAHAHA . and the title of my blog is also a song by secondhand serenade - puts extra bit on title - . )

---

not so subliminal today .
and not so flowy . meh xD .

revelations .

i have discovered 4 important things these holidays , as listed below .

1) it`s impossible to cram a whole year`s worth of stuff for 9 / 10 - ish subjects into 2 weeks of ' study time '
2) procrasting takes up > 90% of said study time
3) im screwed xD .
4) GG .

oh , and did i mention IPT ? ^^;

it`s cold .

i`m cold .

i`m scared .

for you , and for me .
for us .

that we will grow even colder .

but no , we will not stay this way .

someday , we`ll find out .
are we just going to drift apart , till there`s nothing ?
not even cold
left .

or , may you draw me near you ?
so that i can share your warmth ,
please ?

until i`ve drawn enough from you to call my own .

see , you may not feel my cold .
but i do .
pulling me away from you .

i try to fight it .
but i still feel myself slipping away from you .
you simply do not feel it ,
yet .

hold me tight ,
please .

i love being near you ,
but somehow , find myself pushing myself away .

---

please fill me up , Lord !
with love ...

---

why do i find myself spending time worrying about you ,
but not spending time with you ?

mixed messages , && unspoken feelings .

yeah . i really want to write something but i dont know what to write .

hilongtimenotalkhowareyouimissyoudarling(s)ihopeyou`refineyoureallyareawesome-hug--glomp-RAWRthoughdrama-like,itsnotactuallyveryfun._.weneedtotalk(more)ineedtobemoresensitiveineedtowatchoutforyouihatethemoodymeineedtostudyyouneedtostudymoreimsorryforbeingaterriblefriendarghineedtoexerciseineedtostoptalkingaboutmyselfhahayoumakemelaughyou`resolamexDokay,imlamerletsgoshoppingyesmumxDamireally?hahaharofllollmao:)vodafonevirginoptusorwhat?oopswheredidiputmynotes?wakeupxDhahaibetnononewillbotherreadingthisallthankyouforallyou`vedoneiwishyou`dstopit=\lordhelpme-screams--endstressing-yushthatphilippianspassagelolsineedmoregoodmusicsing/writemeasong^_^hahahateachmeeeeeeeee(yesiknowyoudon`thavetime:()pleasedon`tjudgethemilovethem:)iwonderifyoudo(still?)iwonderifiwillihopeican(bestronginyou)mostofallihopewecantogetherganbattenewowO_OchillaxdudexDokayithinkidontactually;it`sjust_ _ _ _haha._.butido,inanotherway!waitingiwonderifthatwasthewisestthingtodoprobablynotahhwellpleasekeepittoyourselfiwishyou`dtalkmoreletstalkmoreiloveyou:).

and ican`treallythinkofwhatelsetoputthere .

< / end incoherent thoughts here >

and that was what i wanted to say .

phew :) .

and OOPS blogspot cut off the really long strings of words xD .
ahh well :) . it doesnt really make sense anyways xD .

and facebook just cut off about 1/3 of my rambling . meh .

♥ 陪我長大

i guess i want to know .
but i`ll never know .
cause it doesn`t matter
anyway .

im sorry im so curious =33 .

... maybe i`ll find out when we meet up there again , ne ? ^_^

for now , all we need to know is right here ...
let`s go searching to find it ,
together :) .

---

oops just paper - cutted my finger =33 .
despite how pretty bright red blood ( yay im not iron deficient :D ) looks on white tissue , it really is quite disgusting xD .
especially when it turns brown and crusty ._. .
eww =33 .

im surprised im not feeling squeamish , for once .

... and im surprised im not having a massive pity party .

yes , i`ll just have to deal with it .

im such a little girl sometimes ._. .

- smiles bravely -

will grow up ...

---

spoilt little girl can`t deal with a little physical pain ?

get over it .

think you know what it feels like to hurt ?
inside & outside .
totally alone .

look towards the cross , blessed little one .

and be thankful that you don`t have to bear even your own burdens anymore , let alone the whole world`s ,
on your shoulders .

the emotional me .

i am ice queen .
cool ; calm ; smart ; confident .
melt me if you may .

make me smile ; make me laugh .
( not very hard to )
melt me .
( at all )

i retreat into my own little shell of a container .

but , like water , i bend easily ; at will .
liquid ; runny fluid i am , i will do anything you want .

pour me out , pour me back in . drink me , spit me out . filter me , pollute me .

i can`t help it .

---

well i was .

now i resist even you .
despite saving me from that .

reasoning ( ded to you luke xD )

before you actually say anything , it`s not what you think .

i guess we never really consider this when we make a judgement .

but it never is , really what you think .
there will always be something small ; overlooked , no matter how many explanations made .

personalities overlooked .

in the end , anything is completely ' justifiable ' in light of everything that has happened , in combination with our personalities .

but i do not believe personalities are justifiable .

yes ; we`re all like ' this ' . but leaving it be is just not good enough .

leaving yourself wallowing in self pity , lust , anger ...

if you`re given a chance to change , why don`t you take it ? ._.

arms high && heart abandoned .

hahaha .
i think my favourite song is now ' the Stand - Hillsong ' .

not just like a random phase .
cause i haven`t had a proper favourite song for aaaaaaages .

really ; i love the melody .
but most of all i love the lyrics .

so what can i say ?
what can i do ?
but offer this heart , O God ;
completely to you .

my heart ; your heart ; our hearts .

seriously , i don`t know what else i can do .
cause there`s nothing else i can do .

you simply call me to lay it all on you .
good ; bad ; glory ; shame .

watch ; wait ; listen ; respond .
but leave it all to you .

---

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

fail at failing :)

Boston - Augustana

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone
Oh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost
Eyes are red
And tears are shed
The world you must have crossed
You said

You don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
She said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeah
Yeah

Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts
Across an open field
When flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones
Who cry when they see you
You said

You don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
She said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeah

She said I think I'll go to Boston
Think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
Think I'll get a lover
And fly him out to Spain
I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of Sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice
Oh yeah

Boston
No one knows my name
Yeah
No one knows my name
No one knows my name
Yeah

Boston
No one knows my name

---

haha thankyou kwan . i like this song very much :) .
i like your music taste :) .
it`s very different but refreshing ? lol .

maybe i`ll learn it on piano some day ^_^ .

but for the record , i actually enjoy listening to asian music :D .
including like , bubblegum pop which you`d probably find annoying xD .

but the mario kart love song is so cute =33 .
hahahahaha xD .

have fun at black stump ^_^ .

---

OMGSH . cleaning my desk .
well , not really .

2 minutes into cleaning :
- takes a break ; drinks asian tea ; fbooks for like half an hour -

FAIL .

---

but no allan , i do not fail at failing HAHA .

with every spiritual blessing ~

smiling .
lifted up ;
close to you .

&& my weak arms and knees shake .

in your presence , i feel so sinful =\ .
yet , you withhold nothing from us .

all your love .
every spiritual blessing .

leaning
on you .

in love :) .

i would like to drown myself in your love :) .
cause it doesn`t even feel like drowning :D .

flying ; soaring .

safe to say <33

thinking , going round & round in circles .
feeling confused .
feelings confused .

but it doesn`t matter anymore ;
the way i feel
is irrelevant .

all i know is i feel happy .
grateful .
sad .
worried .

but safe in your hands <33 .
^_^ .

i was born to tell you i love you ;

call im sick ,
call im angry ,
call im desperate for your voice .

okay , im not xD .

but nice song , ne ? :)
kinda nice lyrics .
( only partly so . )
on many levels .

but duet - ing it with elena was awesome ^_^ .
jamming too .
dancing .
raving .
haha xD .
jas` amazing piano - ing even more so :) .

---

sorry ( x lots of people ) .

for making it complicated .
for not letting go .

for not listening to you .
for not ' talking ' to you properly ,
which i should go do ;
now .

---

idunno .

haha . thank god for god - given wisdom .

( title says it all )

( that`s cool . but i still feel a bit dodge xD )

:)

i hope i can be wise too .

( so awesome how he promises to grant us wisdom :) . )

drawing nearer ^^ .

happy ~
but i still think im too forceful ?
haha ._. .

ease off , yo .

---

need
to
get
off
fbook .

---

awesome ! ( actually , you are beyond awesome xD )
thankyou for all you`ve done ^^ .
<33 .

thankyou for taking the initiative that i didnt want to take . but would have to anyways =\ .

---

slowly
getting
better
at
it .

---

- smiles -

half truths .

half truths are just as bad .
or maybe , worse . in only distorting the truth just enough that it`s plausible , you leave me wondering ; worrying , more .

at least i can tell when you lie .

and after all , it is still lying =\ .

wait and see .

hahaha .
watching the world around us go by .
literally .
the clouds drift slowly across the sky , and we wonder , yet again .
we are so tiny ; insignificant , but it is small things that have built us up .
we don`t really need to , but we try our best to explain ourselves to each other anyways .

an unspoken bond of trust and love .
god - given .
god - blessed .

so this is what it`s like , when it`s centred around you .

---

on the other hand , what we talked about .
GAH .

in conclusion ;
let`s wait and see .

---

tangent ;
hahahaha lol sarah .

that`s how it kinda happened with me too ... xD .
except i actually asked haha =33 .

funny .

okay ; not really xD .

---

are you ? am i letting you ?
slip away .

i know .

&& i say so .
&& i believe so .
&& i act so .
i want so .
but i don`t always feel so .

but i also know so .

&& i know you`ll pick me up again .
no matter how many times
ive fallen .

screammmm .

screams .
of joy ; ectasy ; fun ; love ; passion ; pain ; anger ; frustration .

oh the fragility of it all .

broken relationships .
dreams so easily shattered .

---

gah end emo rant here xDDD .
hahahahah .

---

so pretty :) .
beautiful .

---

ahh .
i wish i didnt .
really , really wish ,
that i wasnt .

shift everything towards you :) ( haha im studying for maths ( graphs ) , pardon the pun )

OMGSH BLOG STARTED WORKING AGAIN :D .
happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) .

( AHH . SCREWED UP PAINTED NAIL D; )

anyhows xD .

i thought it was bad ... but it would end . soon - ish . but now it`s gotten a lot more complicated ? haha . oh well . nothing to do but trust you Lord <33 . without you , i think i would die =\ . thankyou for finding me again , and giving me your strength .

---

still a lot to learn ! i guess i can`t really wait to see what i will learn :) .
( haha phil your enthusiasm is rubbing off on me :) )

---

is this right ?
no ?
im not letting you in ( my relationships ) ?

okay . reprioritise .

you ; first .

---

so cool .
and indescribably
awesome ;
how you use things for your glory :D .

---

hahaha . i think i get it better now .
why me .

phew . thankyou .

suffering ;
building perseverence , character and hope . ( Romans 5:3-5 )

but im not even really suffering .

just wait till you grow up .

old enough .

- sigh - .
do you know any better ?

and all i ask is that you understand
and all i ask is that you try
tonight
and all i wish is that you always know
how very wrong you are to go

if there is so much meaning in life
then i'm
i'm old enough to know better
are you old enough to know better

are we meant to die or live for more
ask yourself the questions to be sure
why is there a meaning
is there meant to be
am i meant to feel it
will someone notice me
notice me

if there is so much meaning in life
then i'm
i'm old enough to know better
if there is so much meaning in life
then i'm
i'm old enough to know better
are you old enough to know better

are you old enough to know better
are you old enough to know better

ooohh well i'm old enough to know better
are you old enough to know better

not one of the catchiest songs , but nice , slow and sad :) .
haha . i listen to too much acoustic stuff nowadays ^^; .

---

wow .
be . careful ?

i want to say so much more , but im not in a good position to offer any seemingly unneeded advice =\ .

---

from the inside out ,
oh my soul cries out .

---

god of the broken ,
save us .

---

when it`s storming ,
go dance in the rain <33 .

---

iloveyouLord:D
you fill me with so much joy .

---

but
ineedpatience =\ .

hello , break of day (:
everyday is a new beginning ,
my favourite part ,
of day .

a mesh of memory .

flashback .
little glimpses of time , intertwined in my memory .

cherish .
like a movie replaying a girl`s first kiss , it plays the same scene , many times over and over again , blurring each scene into the next .

but simply put , it is only the parts i want to remember , creating this illusion that i saw .

well , there was nothing wrong with this realistic illusion , until i tried to twist it my way .

so ,　ごめんね =\ .

please fill me up , Lord . i can`t breathe otherwise .

distraction .

i dislike it very muchly .
actually , i hate it .

no thankyous .

GO AWAY T_________T .

that just makes it even dodgier ==; .

다가와서 ( come close to me )

Sing , sing , sing
&& make music with the heavens !

<33

---

' come to me , ' he calls .

open your eyes .
why must you continue living in the dark ?

---

it`s been so long since i felt that way .
i don`t want to go back . look back .

but looking at you , lost , reminds me of you .

how can i tell you ?
i`ve done it a million times now . but that`s not enough .

the knowledge that i could have done better plagues me =\ .
i hope i can , next time . and take every opportunity for a next time .

---

me too . it`s so hard to say anything , when you don`t know how to say it ; what to say . because you have absolutely nothing to say .

except the most important thing of all .

---

another poem i found ;
( that i sent luke )

Our Days on this earth
are only a few.
Like a drop in the ocean
so bright and so blue.

In our youth we look to the future
with dreams that's so bright.
Not really realizing
God keeps us always in sight.

He guides our path
with such a gentle hand.
Gives us the courage we need
to take our stand.

We shove that little voice aside
and say - "I have plenty of time."
God with His gentle patience says
"I'll wait - I don't mind."

As time slides on
and we daily stray,
God's gentle voice says
That's O.K. - I'll have my day."

When His hand
constantly brings us in line,
We look back and say
"I've wasted so much time."

Come to Me early
Our God pleads.
I have for you to plant
Many, Many seeds.

Refreshments :)

so tired ._.
mentally and physically .

but i hope that no matter what , i won`t ever be , spiritually .

- need to stay awake to do english ._. -

---

怎麽辦 ？ so silent .
yes ? no ?
answer me , please .

i can`t do it by myself ._. .
what happened to community ?

no , it`s not that big a thing . so please , talk to me ?

i hope im not being impatient , but it`s so slow ; so impersonal =\ .

build
relationships
.

thankfully , i have you , Lord .

and thankfully , you GMH :) .
the smallest things <33 .
or , not so small :D .

---

worry ?

' Do not be anxious about anything , but in everything , by prayer and petition , with thanksgiving , present your requests to God . And the peace of God , which transcends all understanding , will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus ' - Phillipians 4:6-7

phew .

thankyou <33 .

---

WOW .

Lord , you are AMAZING .

Answering my prayers , like that . And so fast :) .

---

Joshua 10:25 .
Be strong

---

I hope I can always be there for you , like how you`re always there for me <33 .

Though you may not know it , you give so much encouragement !

In fact , all of you , in your own way <33 .

From the ' greatest ' to the ' least ' .

rambleramblerumblemumblejumbomumbo :D .

happyhappyhappyjoyinyou :)

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eurgh .
i hate wasting stuff =\ .

i hate selfish - ness even more ._.

( which is why i hate myself at times =33 )
but not today .

argh . please be nicer ? =33

i love you :) <33 .

you can do it , in him .
do anything ; everything in him !

as long as it`s in him <33 .

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i wonder ...

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AWESOME talk with elena today .
SOSWEETIRGJIRSJGIORJOIEJ D; .

haha ; boring or barring or bearing or burying or beering ? :) ( a , e , i , o , u ? )
teehee .

elena is nice to hug :) .
love you <33

I WANT COOL LEG MUSCLES TOO :(
let`s flex ! ( ible ? :) )

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9/10SC / 11U-DF READ YOUR EMAILS .
i know it`s lame - cringes - .
BUT YEAH .
READ AND REPLY ASAP PL0X ? :D

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i wanna cut my fringe :( .
but i dunno if i should .
and whether i should just a haircut ?
lol

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hmm ...

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off to do english nows ><; .
will sign off with AWESOMEskiies song <33 .

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Believe It Or Not - Playjerise <33

I believe in you
I hope you see it in the way that I move
People around get lost on the road
But we're better then that I know

Cause I found love
Yeah believe it or not
Well I found love
Yeah believe it or not
Not because of what I did but because of what you did
Not because of what I did but because of what you did

Cause I,
I don't wanna go back again
Cause lately, I've been drowning here
And I don't wanna go back again
I don't wanna go back again

I found love
Yeah believe it or not
Well, I found love believe it or not
Not because of what I did but because of what you did
Not because of what I did but because of what you did

Cause I,
I don't wanna go back again
Coz lately, I've been drowning here
And I don't wanna go back again

Oh no no no

Cause lately I've been drowning here
And I don't wanna go back again

Don't wanna go back
Don't wanna go back
Don't wanna go back
I don't wanna go back

I don't wanna go back again

If I go back
Will you find me
If I go back
Will you find me
Will you find me
Will you find
Oh will you find me
Will you find

And I,
I don't wanna go back again
Cause lately, I've been drowning
I don't wanna go back again

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i LOVE Playjerise .
awesome guitar .
awesome lyrics .
awesome melodies .

awesome acoustic - ness :D .

AWESOME(st) God of Wonders <33

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OH yes .
saw beautiful spring blossoms / buds / leaves today !
so greennnnn <33 .

prettiful .

the wake after the winter sleep :) .

reminds me of ' the sun washed by the spring rain - lee hom ' ( with the sexy guy with the sexy guitar with a sexy voice xD . not to mention talented and refreshing ) and ' winter sleep - olivia lufkin ' ( nana inspired ? :D teehee . good movie ! )

more awesome - ness <33 ! :D

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okay , i really really need to go do english now ._.

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i miss yous ; kinda ; just a bit :) .
though you`re awesome , i wish i didn`t .

Struggle - Playjerise <33

I could be wrong
But you were not the person that I knew
Whoa what a waste of my time
This wouldn't happen if you would open up and let me in

Whoa what a waste and I
Struggle along
Struggle along without you
Struggle along whoa oh
Struggle along without you
'Coz I ooh hoo
I can't breathe when you are not here
Oh I ooh hoo
I can't breathe when you are not here

Oh I
I wouldn't know
If you could change my world
For the better or the worse

Whoa what a waste and I
Struggle along
Struggle along without you
Struggle along whoa oh
Struggle along without you
'Coz I ooh hoo
I can't breathe if you are not here
Oh I ooh hoo
I can't breathe if you are not here

I can't breathe
I can't breathe if you are not here
I can't breathe if you are not here
You're not here
You're not here

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AWESOME song . but emo .

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but i think the reverse is true . you don`t change much ; i just used to see you in a skewed perspective .

or maybe i just chose to be blind to your faults ?

eurgh .
every breath i took was about you .

every breath without you hurt .

and now , ive changed .
and will keep changing , i hope , with my eyes on Jesus .

may i breathe Jesus now :) .

but you . it hurts to see you hurt =\ .

funeral blues .

thankyou for your selflessness ,
as a wonderful mother , sister , wife && friend .

i regret not appreciating it enough , when you could feel it , here .

but you`re in a better place now .
so see you , soon .

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ahahahahaha .
cried off all my eyeliner today xD .
( i know , right ; eww black water . lololol . )
was so stoned , washed out and drained afterwards .

but it felt good .

a sniff . a pat . a hug .

tears running rivulets down our faces .
turned out to be quite funny ; everyone blowing their red noses ; eyes glistening with tears .

you guys are awesome <33 .
to spare a thought ... for you ; me ; us .

and though the pain won`t fade for some time , i know you know that we love you .
love , which we`ll do anything within our limited ability for .
but thankfully , he gives us unlimited ability to love with :) .

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so much love .
i hope i can do the same , for you .

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there`s too much love in this world ... of the wrong type .