To be honest , I`ve never opened myself up fully to anyone before , ever , except to my Rock , my Comforter , who knows me better than I know myself . Never failing .
What I tell you sounds weird coming out of my mouth - I've never been good at expressing myself verbally .
I do try , but from what I hear myself , it sounds hollow and fake and false - only a mere fraction of what I actually want to say ; not near enough to the truth to be the truth .
And so I shut up , and hope you understand , which is impossible to wish for , of course xD .
I get accused of hiding extreme thoughts , feelings and emotions behind an impenetrable facade . Of thinking too much . But it`s just the way I taught myself to behave as a child - keeping to myself , cause nobody else understood .
Now they do , but my reserved - ness hasn`t changed .
It`s not good .
Especially
when
I
explode / implode .
And that , is the honest truth .
Now I will click ' publish post ' before I delete this post , like one of many others .
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