How often, full of hope, have I seen it, bright and beautiful!
But her laughter fades with the sound of footsteps, as she realises, left alone with her dark, ugly thoughts, how brutal and cold and unfeeling she really is.
They love her- but they don't see what she believes to be the real her- a monster clawing at the unknown; violent yet shaken as it lies dying on the floor; crawling and crawling and biting the dust to no end.
Run, the voices tell her- run, run, run. Get away from this place.
The tears leave two parallel streaks down her cheeks, and she feels comical and laughable; they scream 'pity me; pity me; the miserable'.
How ridiculous she feels!
But all she can do is whisper: 'Where?'
---
This is my darkness.
Was.
This is my light: Love.
Quote Angus' blog:
'the three effects of sin:
Wow. I've known this since... ages?
- to create a barrier for humans which prevents us developing our relationship with God
- it allows Satan to give us grounds on which we accuse God for our sin and it allows Satan to tell us that we are failures unworthy of God
- it gives us a sense of guilt in which further estranges us from God'
But not really until now, as I read his blog and reflect on the past few months, from the beginning of the year.
Lord, I lift your name on high Lord
I love to sing your praises
I'm so glad You're in my life
I'm so glad You came to save us
You came from heaven to earth
to show the way
From the earth to the cross
my debt to pay
From the cross to the grave
From the grave to the sky Lord,
I lift your name on high
Guilt is such a terrible thing.
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