Soft and gentle and warm to the touch :).
-Melts-

Ludicrous- Portrait of a Miserable Girl.

And she smiles that little sad smile of hers, full of despair.

How often, full of hope, have I seen it, bright and beautiful!

But her laughter fades with the sound of footsteps, as she realises, left alone with her dark, ugly thoughts, how brutal and cold and unfeeling she really is.

They love her- but they don't see what she believes to be the real her- a monster clawing at the unknown; violent yet shaken as it lies dying on the floor; crawling and crawling and biting the dust to no end.

Run, the voices tell her- run, run, run. Get away from this place.

The tears leave two parallel streaks down her cheeks, and she feels comical and laughable; they scream 'pity me; pity me; the miserable'.

How ridiculous she feels!

But all she can do is whisper: 'Where?'

---

This is my darkness.
Was.

This is my light: Love.

Quote Angus' blog:

'the three effects of sin:

1. to create a barrier for humans which prevents us developing our relationship with God
2. it allows Satan to give us grounds on which we accuse God for our sin and it allows Satan to tell us that we are failures unworthy of God
3. it gives us a sense of guilt in which further estranges us from God'

Wow. I've known this since... ages?
But not really until now, as I read his blog and reflect on the past few months, from the beginning of the year.

Lord, I lift your name on high Lord
I love to sing your praises
I'm so glad You're in my life
I'm so glad You came to save us

You came from heaven to earth
to show the way
From the earth to the cross
my debt to pay
From the cross to the grave
From the grave to the sky Lord,
I lift your name on high

Guilt is such a terrible thing.

Warmness

LOL at Vicky and 'According to Ms Summers, touch is an innate human need. Lack of touch in one's early childhood years can lead to detrimental effects such as unusual behaviour towards touch in later years'.
Hahahaha :).

Physical intimacy... Lol.

I think it's expression of how we crave intimacy with other beings?

On all levels.
Physical; emotional; spiritual; etc.

Hmm.

I love our holding hands, Steph, and the massive hug today, Elena, and your warmness, Carmen ^_^. (Why did I say warmness instead of warmth? Warmness is such an awkward word, and yet Firefox recognises it as a word- probably as one of those new-age, noun-form-of-adjective words o_O.)

Whatever touch is, it's beautiful :).

Human beings are so weird.

---

I wish I could play piano.
And sing.

Gah. So pretty!!!
-hearts-

---

I tried to take a power nap today.
It lasted for 2 hours and a bit.
GG.

But I woke up feeling happy cause I wasn't tired anymore.
Yay! :DDD

---

Mmm milk tea.
So warm ^^

The more I do,
The less you'll do,
But that just contradicts everything.

So what to do?

Home- Michael Buble

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

Shiver at Your Touch.

&& the songs that I sing to you won't do;
even if they sound nice.

'Don't know; Don't care'
are possibly the most painful phrases out there.

Don't matter.
(Not in the sense that it is irrelevant or I don't care; I mean that how I feel doesn't matter- I don't consider me important. I'm alright. But maybe... you're not?)

Even if I'm crying- I'm not fallen apart; I'm fine-
I'm just crying because I'm hurt.
Hurt and scared at/for/by someone dear.

And, so, don't feel sorry for me;
I'm fine.

I just love you okay?

Won't you let me love you?
It's frustrating how I can't.

---

Imagination soar.
Imagination free.

Imagination warm&cozy.

Imagination imagine things to hurt over.

Imagination come here and let me tie you up.
You go too far.

---

It's amazing watching really gangster-looking guys sing, with the smoothest voices ever.
Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :).

---

Omgshomgsh I just ate some of OUR food Steph hehe.
Sakata loveeeeeeeeeeee teehee.
Our favourite flavour too ;D.

UsTwoWINZ.
:)

---

I need to stop listening to songs with lyrics.
Or at least stop singing to them.
Unless I learn to multitask? Haha o_O.

Watcha waiting for?

What are you waiting for exactly?
Get your head in the game, girl.

(I just lost the game.)

You know what is right.

Yes, it's hard, but it's do-able (in Him and with Him), and its necessary.

And it's worth it.

It's just that it still hurts.

I need to get over that.

(Not to say that I think that I am a pathetic being; I just need to get moving.)

Looking In (As opposed to around)

Suddenly reminded of the song 'Fifteen'- Taylor Swift.

It was going to be the fairytale;
It was going to be beautiful;
Worth everything.

But hey; look what happened.

One beginning;
But still, not many endings either =\.

又做錯了。
hmm.
=\

對不起

WIshful Thinking

Just a little bit?
Just a teeny tiny bit?
The littlest bit?

No; not at all.

xD

The paradox of
Expectations,
Then thinking that your expectations are probably wrong;
Then your expectations are realised,
And you realise that this time you were wrong about your expectations;
That they stand true this time;
And then you get confused about what your expectations were in the first place.

Okay, I don't make sense;
I'm just going to stop thinking now.

Thinking.

Counting the seconds.
What a waste of time.

Get on with it, girl.

Honestly,
I'm angry.

At myself.

Hmm.

For a few things.

Sometimes, what I'm angry at myself for isn't wrong.
It's just...
I'm too emotional sometimes.

And stuff
like
that.

-Deep breath-

Phew.

Anyhow, back to work.

That You Would Reign in Us

Oh, daddy.
I hate this.

My desire is for you, Lord.

Totally-unrelated-to-this-post Shout-out to everyone in 9SC personally and collectively.

It's probably just me, but I'm finding reading people's blogs a very interesting pastime =33.

(Excuse me while I sneeze.
-Sneezes-
Yuck!
Hate being sick.
Sore throat.

Hate not being able to talk or sing or shout properly.
Rawr.)

Also loving our Justin Beiber jokes 8).
And 'la Belle'/'label' xD.

Shout out to BeD here :) : I enjoy our talks :DDD, especially while walking to St Leonards hehe. Won't say anything more here (You know why... I think).

Also love the Beauty & the Beast song you lyric-ed on your blog xD.

It's so magical (so Disney-ish).
Fairytales...

But you know what?

Even though they don't exist, here, I don't think we should give up dreaming and acting on bigger, better things.

Where would we be without dreams?
What if everyone just gave up trying, purely because perfection is unattainable?

Then, where would be the fun? The anticipation? The joy? The freedom? And practically, innovation. New things. Better things.

Where would be the 'excellent'?

Even though there is no perfection, there surely can still be glimpses of it- just enough to keep going.

So please, don't give up, as we draw nearer to the Perfect One.

---

Hmm.
I don't want to annoy you.
Take up too much of your time.

But I want to call you.
Ask you how you are.

But at the same time, respect your privacy.

All the while, hoping that you trust me enough to not feel the need for too much privacy.

But you wouldn't know that, because I don't call you.

I'm sorry.
Make no excuses for me.

Honestly, being tired is taking its toll on my relationships more than anything.

I love you Brenda&&Alice.
Seriously guys.
Thanks for everything!

Even though our late night talks weren't really really fun or deep or whatever, I really really enjoyed them.
Especially just the giggling, encouragement and honesty.

Miss you guys.

Oh, by the way Brenda, LOL at your blogposts from camp.

---

What lengths people go to to have fun =\.

Expectations and Being Judged.

Yes, I don't live up to the expectations placed on me.
I'm sorry.

I haven't been working as hard as I could.

Just please don't flame me for it =\.

I'm tired.

---

Yes, I know I'm not 'good at it'.
But if the criticism were constructive, I'd really appreciate it.

Identity.

You know what I realised recently?
You and I are not actually that unique, in that we each have our own 'unique experiences' that no one else has ever experienced.

I mean, there are original circumstances- which, of course, would change with context (haha ext eng (:)- but I mean the feelings and thoughts generated.

But it is these different combinations of experiences that contribute to our uniqueness- who we are.
Thus, we are unique. But no one is radically unique enough to be deemed the total outsider.(except Jesus in some respects xD)

What I mean is, I guess- we are all human.
No one is unique enough to be perfect. Or totally 'bad'. We're kind of stuck between this awkward phase of being knowledgeable but still noob. Having rational thinking but not being able to isolate it to control ourselves. Stuff like that.

So even though I used to feel that no one I knew could understand me, I see that I have different friends, each with their own unique experiences, all able to understand me- but only to a certain extent.

So there are different friends who I can turn to for different things, and vice versa.

I guess it's like a wide resource bank xD, if you want to use that terminology.

That's pretty cool- Him using us, His unique experiences :D.

Ohithurtssomuch.

I'm not superhuman.
You know that, and so do I.

Dedicated to Alison, who called me a beast 8)

A bit disillusioned, but that's okay.
A start.

---

- hArLo iTz aLo;; who loves her ARTICULATE! [5/5] says:
u blog like a beast!
48 this month?

AHAHAHAHA.

And VT:
' ... the hottest guy in the school (apparently)'

HAHA.

Little, Short Four Letter Word- you have our future in your hands.

In the midst of all this darkness;
All this confusion you feel,
Do not forget that there is hope.

What holds us together.

iloveyoujudy!

Janice&&Sonia- Fireflies cover LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Teehee.
Cutest song ever :D

Normalisation? (hehe no; I will leave out all mention of IPT here)

I used to wish
for a 'normal life';
to be a 'normal' person.

But now, as I'm writing my ext. eng essay, and am on the part on the subversion of stereotypes, I realise how hopeless that is/was/whatever (haha grammar).

I mean, every 'normal' person typically goes through probably more stuff than you could imagine.
Has lots of weird, quirky habits.

In fact, I can't think of a single person I could define as 'normal'.

I'm in loveeeeeeeeee with the most adorable dress ever hehe :).

http://weheartit.com/entry/1546131
If you're bothered.

Anyways. Needtodoexteng.

(HI BRENDA :D)

I can't help but smile.
God bless you guys!!!

In the meantime, I am dying without credit :(.

Can't... text... people...
Or call.

Lol.

:(

My Deepest, Sincerest Apologies.

Honestly,
I've been the most terrible friend lately ._.

I won't make excuses- nothing can 'excuse me';
I'll just make explanations and hope you can forgive me.

But at the same time, I don't want to write up a whole blog post all about 'me&&myissues' again.

Hmm.

I'm sorry.

I'm still learning to forgive myself.
I think I have, this time, but I hope I can keep this up; not falling in despair, and keeping on going.

Something to keep praying about :).

We think we're strong; experienced and we've got it all together,
But when it comes again,
Yet again, we often succumb.

Maybe sometimes even yield so violently it's crippling.

Sometimes that can be sad and frustrating to be, or to watch,
But other times, as now, it makes me smile.

I see hope;
Glimpses of something softer;
A heart willing to open up
And be consumed.

Admittedly, it still makes me uneasy a bit-
The where;
And how;
And what will result of this;

I can only pray that it will be somewhere beautiful.

In the whole scheme of things, I get where things are headed.
But me, being the short-sighted human I am, can only see straight in front of me in what can be like a misty, hazy fog.

I look back, and I remember, and understand some things.
Not always though.

But that's okay.

Even when I don't understand lots of things.
Even when I have a bad day.
For greater things are yet to come, and greater things are still to be done.

The greatest comfort is You.

(No I have not had a bad day; I just feel very short-sighted right now- not knowing where and why things are heading exactly)

Are you just making excuses, or are you being truthful to yourself?

At least try, please.

... And then never give up :).

It's going to be hard, but anyways.

Philippians 3:8
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.

I remember
being called 'selfish' when I was younger
used to make me cry and cry for ages.

It hurt so much.

And it still does, looking back.

Ahh dear.

I don't remember how exactly I was like, but I remember that I was massively misunderstood.
To this day, people still think that I was 'difficult'.

People should take children and their feelings seriously.

Word count: 277/1200
I've only written the intro so far. GG.

You think you're just fine, but I can see you falling.

So what am I meant to say?
I don't know.

But, I know He will give me the words to say.
Even when I stuff up... It's all in His hands.
It is He who changes hearts, not us.

---

In all seriousness, what is it that you want?

You've tried and tried- but what you want hasn't gotten you anywhere.
Have you tried what you need?
Maybe if you did, you'd find out that what you want are just things to fix the problems created, in not getting what you need.

---

Maybe it's just not the right time.

Wow.
Looking back, I realise I have learnt a lot, through my recent 'down'-ness.

Daddyyou'resoamazing.

I was so blind during it.
Thinking more like 'take this away please; I can't stand it'.

But I could- you never put us through anything we can't stand- and you taught me so much about you.

My Much-needed Reminders.

Oh, by the way, this sounds like a lecture but it's not.
Basically, most of my blogs are just me sorting out my thoughts.

---

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:17

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

So Jas and I have been having some trouble concentrating recently.
We were talking about it, and I dunno, but we kinda concluded but for me, it was probably partly because I had forgotten my motivation for doing things.

It doesn't seem like much, but everything little thing we do or think matters. It can draw you closer to God, or further away.

Some other things I've learnt recently are that:
[i] We are students. Note the root of the word is akin to the word 'study'. So what are students meant to do? Study. Hard. So why did God place us in this position? This applies to everyone one of us- to study hard. So we can learn things, about Him, and things we can apply in the future.

It doesn't mean 'everybody must study hard to become doctors/lawyers/whatever'. Whatever you want to be, working hard is still important, ne?

Like my chem tutor was telling me about how he wanted to be a teacher when he was a student. Looking forward towards something is great, but you can't forget the immediate. What if he'd just thrown everything away, and just said 'I want to be a teacher!'? He couldn't, of course. He had to study; to be equipped to become a teacher.

I think sometimes we can kinda get too caught up in the whole 'school (as everywhere else) is a place to show people God's love, not to get good marks'. I agree with that. But God didn't tell us to throw everything away to do that. He doesn't want us to put Him as an exclusive part of our lives. He wants all of us- in study, in friendships, in everything.

Also, another trap is going 'who cares about school work. This (relationship, study we're writing, etc.) is more important.' And we pour all of our time and effort into it. And then we fail, and we go 'WHY DID I FAIL GOD? I GAVE ALL OF MYSELF TO YOU'.

Giving our all to Him means trying our best in everything we do and letting Him guide our lives, in all aspects.

And, of course we can't do well in anything without balance.
Balancing fun, leisure, work, relationships, etc.

It's hard work, but it's well worth it :)
[ii] And, I can't remember what else I was going to say...

...

Oh well. On to another point.
[iii] Well, I've kinda been 'falling apart' a bit lately, over my inability to concentrate; being really angry at myself, etc.

Not being able to forgive myself.
Like, 'it's my fault'. I don't try hard enough; I don't remove all distractions; I don't take care of myself as well as I could physically (i.e. sleep, eat well, etc.). And stuff like that; the list goes on.

But I have to remember- James 1:17- Every good and perfect gift is from above. (And then comes a beautiful bit about God being unchanging, unlike 'shifting shadows' hehe). So he is the one who gives me the gift of concentration? And also the gift of being relatively smart. (By relatively, I mean relative to most people in society =33. I know I'm not a genius- far from it, but yush. You know what I mean)

But as the speaker today said, when you fail, God will forgive (side note: in fact, he wants to, for our relationships with him to progress), so pick yourself up and keep going. So that's something for me to work on; forgiving myself, and keeping going.
[iv] I'm glad that I'm having these troubles now, not next year. Like getting my issues sorted now, not later. It still troubles me, and I'm still not concentrating, but I'll just keep trying.

---

Sorry for the long post; most people won't even probably read up to here hehe :).
But as I said before, a lot of my blog posts are just me sorting out my thoughts.

---

Oh, also, an add on:
[v] By 'in everything you do, do it for the glory of God', it also includes drinking; eating; small things.

Yes, it's obvious.

Not just as in 'I'll drink this so I don't die, so I can do his work'.

I mean taking care of yourself.
Like me. Sometimes, I dont' feel like drinking water. I don't like the taste of strong meat (it makes me want to vomit ><;). Etc.

But I must eat meat, and drink water, or my health will suffer, and I'll feel tired and thirsty and terrible, and I can't concentrate and do things properly, and serve Him properly.

So yush.
Sometimes, we just have to do what we have to do.

But I hope I will learn to appreciate it, and do end up enjoying it, just as God created things for us to enjoy.

:)

Jya, ne.

Finding Meaning.

What is joy?
What is happiness?

I mean real joy and happiness.

Is it the kind of feeling that you get that just bubbles out of you non-stop?
Like you can't keep it in.

Is it the stage further than mere contentment?
Is it being lost in awe and wonder at something amazing?

What is being blessed?

Does it just mean 'truly happy'?
Is it being rich in God's eyes?
Is it still resilient, strong and joyful in rough times?
Is it also the blessing of being a blessing to others?

I don't know; these are just mere thoughts and feelings of mine.
What do you think? Share with meeeeee :)
I hope to find out, more and more, just as I hope to find out what true love is.

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

---

I went outside to work for a little while today.
It was so nice and peaceful, and the weather was really cool :).
There were lots of fluffy clouds, and the sun was shining.
But then it got dark, and then suddenly, I felt something tingly on my legs. Within about 10 seconds, they started to itch really badly in multiple places.

GG. I then ran indoors and tried putting heaps of cream on my mozzie bites but it was too late.

:(

And that was my day.

Jokes.
I kind of laughed at myself getting GG-ed.
xD (Yes I'm really really weird)

TODAY WAS REALLY REALLY AWESOME.

LIKE.
BERNIE GOT ENGAGED? AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE hehe ^^
and CONGRATS ALLANSARAHBYRON. love you guys hehe.
and bigALAN is back too from snapping some bone in his leg :D.

this week's not been that great, like uncle patrick passing away =\. hearing about other aunties and uncles with diseases like cancer.
not being able to concentrate at all; work building up; feeling the pressure.
just stuff.

you know; 'that's life for you'; various trials and temptations.

but still, He gives us so much hope and reason to rejoice :).

(Oh, and Carrie came again today for the second time ^^. It was so awesome hehe. Missed her so much during the holidays :(. And church camp next week. YAYAYAYAYAYAY :D)

Hey! I changed from caps to non-caps and back again in the first words of every sentence. WEIRD. Yuck :(

Hehehehe :)

Today, I have failed eating apples.
I have eaten like none today ._.
Yucky :(

Daddy, give me concentration ><;

iloveiloveiloveilove

talking with my daddy/God/saviour.
^^

I hate it when you're on msn, and you laugh at something some one says, and you look really retarded cause you look like you're just laughing to yourself. Or you smile really widely cause you're laughing inside but don't want to laugh out loud.

I also hate how embarrassing it is when you walk down the street, and you think of something funny or sweet or whatever that happened the other day, and you start smiling really widely, and you feel really retarded.

hehe.

:DDD

no i don't really hate it.
it's just... EMBARASSING lol :)

---

ooft add on.
today, i was in a room by myself, and i thought of something happy, and i clapped, and then i was like 'waaaaaaaait... that's just weird >>;'

YES IM WEIRD LIKE THAT T_______T.

'I HATE YOU
LOL
<33'

yes. my love hate relationship with renee.
i love her too much. so it makes me :(

teehee.

Yay woke up early this morning to work :D
Was so tireeeeeeed @_________@.
But then drank some orange juice and is fine now =33
Hehe.

Had really weird dream O_____O.
Like, one of the nicest people I know went mean?
And someone (very near and dear to my heart HAHA) called me to tell me. So weird.
Haha xD.
Anyways.
Have been dreaming for the past few days.
Is good.
Cause I haven't been dreaming for months.

Which, my brother says is the reason why I'm always so tired =33.

Oh yeah, and that someone threw a party for their friends.
Randommmmmmmmmm O_O.

Mad Girl's Love Song

Sylvia Plath

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

---

Wow.
She's... Really really good xD.
But for the emo-ness... =\

I wonder just how much pain; how many tears make up such poems.
The little words we see... Sum up maybe 30, 40, 50 years.

Wow. We often take things just by the surface.
But yeah.
Wow.

It's just like a song.

Teehee.
I just realised how bipolar my blog is.

ANYHOW; BACK TO WORK.

Yucky :(

I have a confession to make:
I'm sick =33.

Why?
Because my house is cold, and it's autumn, and I've been wearing singlets and shorts until recently.
GG.
(Ooo now I'm wearing my trackies, and they're like the best thing ever to wear :). Will blog about them some other time hehe)

I hate that tickly feeling your nose gets when you're just about to sneeze =33.
Like, JUST SNEEZE ALREADY.
So, when you sneeze, it feels good? Haha. That sounds weird.
Just like how when you're sad, crying feels good. Otherwise, you don't want to cry.
Like it sucks that there's a cause behind your sneezing/crying, but when it happens, it's like relief :).

Anyhow, I shall stop rambling and get back to work.

Zomgsh (ahh becoming like phil saying that xD, but not as bad as 'yeup' or 'kewwwwwwwwl' lolololol) need to worrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkk.

Daddy, I don't know where to start =33.
I don't know what you will.
Teach me, so I can do it to the best of my ability?

Glimpses of a Heart Full of Yearning For You.

Love me.
So I can love.
Love love.
And love despite un-love and un-grace.

And overflow;
Pouring You onto everything.

Splishsplash.
Consume.

I can't get my mind around it at all.
It's so big that I can only think of something infinite and unimaginable,
Which just contradicted the bit I said about thinking.

How far we are from your ideal!
And yet, one cannot say your ideal is unattainable, and therefore you should let go of it-
You know nothing but your ideal;
You cannot settle for anything less.

It's simply all or nothing;
You cannot have sometimes badness in goodness.

And sometimes, it hurts, to see how far we've strayed.
How we can't seem to get anywhere near your ideal.
But that's okay; that's what you're there for.

And how easy it would be to give up sometimes.
But that would mean giving up life itself, which would not make sense, since surely you'd only give up if you thought you could find life elsewhere?

Anyway, how could you not fall in love with life itself, after having tasted just the tiniest bit of it?

Thankyou for not just being nice;
Thankyou for actually caring and loving.

It means so much, it does.

I can't believe the blessing you've been.

Especially when I can't believe you care.

I guess, through everything, no matter what, there's just one thing I cannot stand:
Being apart from You.

He knows this, and he plays with it, as He watches me flounder.

I need you.
How true that statement is just makes me cry thinking of it.

Mould me and make me.
I don't like being me.

Me, me, me.
I hate it how my world is all about me.

That's me.

Mould me and make me into who you want me to be.
I can't stand me, for what I am now.

I don't think it's a very wise choice, that 'pouring of everything you have' into something that won't last.
I guess you hope it will last forever.

But I guess I've also learnt not to make generalisations a promised reality.
Everything you have...
Is hard.
And I think you'll agree that it might not be worth it.

Unless there's a bigger cause behind...

I love Rush of Fools :DDD

Nothing special.

Mediocrity.
Is that what you're scared of?

You don't have to be.

But still, that's what a lot of stuff is.
Nothing special.

But add a bit of photoshop, and suddenly it looks good
._.
In the glossy pages of a magazine...
Add a bit of drama, and it becomes something worth talking about.

Is that what we've become?
So we've accepted the fact that nothing in this world will satisfy.
So we create these little distractions to help us forget the things we don't want to face.

Where does love come into all this?
Or have we concluded that it just doesn't exist?
.__________.

HellomayIpleasehugyou?:)
hehe :D

---

Somehow, it never works out.
I don't know why =S.

Ahh well.

How do you fix things when you don't know what's wrong with them?

Love.
It's such a crazy thing.

But without it, we'd all be dead.

Ilovelove.

Oh, and I'm a noob.
You're a noob. (Not directed to anyone in particular; is directed to people as a whole.)

Goodnight.

Not as innocent as it seems.

The world is a big, scary, evil place.

(Yes; I bet you're thinking 'Well duh. Since when did you realise this. etc.' Yes. Take me for the innocent girl I am. (I mean this both sarcastically and realistically- I'm not as innocent as a lot of people think, but I'm more innocent than a lot of other people think))

Your love is bigger than this world.
I find refuge in it.

(Ramble. Am going to bed now.)

You tell me I'm missing out;
I agree- on things I want to miss out on.

See, I don't want the pain, anger, complication, etc.
I feel as if it's a been there, done that thing...

But would you believe me if I told you you were missing out on something bigger and better?

I guess you can take it either way.

Falling.

You're falling,
But you're doing it knowingly,
And you're enjoying it;
This free-falling, letting-go, surrendering-yourself-to-things-as-they-go state,
While also actively pursuing it,
Feeling the wind rush by,
Things come and go in a blur;
It's fun; you're free; you love this.

Maybe you even feel as if you're flying.

And I guess, that's what it comes down to- you're falling knowingly; you're enjoying it.

And forgive me if this sounds condescending or whatever (as if I know better than you)- I mean this purely as a question that I'd like to know the answer to- but what happens when you hit rock bottom?

Then would you consider it all as loss- that falling?
Or like the building up towards a bigger impact?

All the fun you had whilst falling...

I don't know.

I sound like a spoil-sport. Haha xD.
But seriously, I'll try more to see things your way.

Wow.

Two things:
You are... Amazing.
That's rather... Sad =\

Daddy I'm sorry.
Daddy I love you.
Daddy, wipe away these tears of mine.

You're beautiful.

Your Grace is enough,
More than I need,
At your Word I will believe.

Common Ground&&Raw Emotions (If you can even call them emotions).

I just... Don't know what to say.
Hoping you'll understand.

I feel as if that if I do say something,
it will do everything injustice.
(I'm sorry I'm not a very good talker)

What is love; grief; beauty- any of those- that I can articulate?

Is it the nervousness; the sweaty palms; the welling up of tears?
Somehow, these things- though their triviality and insignificance, through their universality- do seem to recreate that same feeling in the reader as the author.

We all seem to understand, without much prompting.

And, so, I hope this will suffice- 'you warm my heart'. (Again, the trivial, pointing towards something bigger.)
I feel your pain; I smile when you do, etc. (I know I can never fully empathise or sympathise, but that's not the point at the moment) but our common humanity and friendship is not what I'm getting at- what I want to say: I am blessed to know you.
You, being those BASICS, who again, I feel I will do injustice to by trying to describe that which brings us together.

Thankyou Lord.

(I still don't know what to say.
I still don't know so many things.

Actually.
I still don't know anything.
Other times, I feel like I've got it figured out.
(But you really don't; he's got it all figured out for you.)

What... is this?
I don't know.

But I will fall at your feet, and I will worship you here.

For simply who you are- Lord of Lords. Not just all that you've given.)