A Heightened Sense of Reality (Rant)

Is [title] even possible?
How can reality be more real?

I don't know.

According to Mr. Short, a heightened sense of reality is often instigated by adrenaline rushes, etc. Thus, your sensory perception is sharper, and chyeaaaaah. You feel and see things 'better'.

So, when I think of a 'heightened sense of reality', I think of photography.
High modality; low modality. (I really am in the mood for english. Haha.)
So on that end of the spectrum in question, there's the unrealistic, almost absurdly (for lack of a better word in my dodgy vocab) saturated colours- is that really realistic? Sure, it's artistic. (Teehee. On the note of art: my new favourite technical-ish, jargon-y word is 'visually arresting'. Ironic, cause it only really applies to art, which conventionally defies the notion of technology being repetitive, dull, uncreative, automated, etc. Actually, it's probably not even jargon; just a term coined by photo-critics. Anyyyyways. Massive tangent. I just think the word-phrase-whatever-thing is really cool, and won't make this rant even longer and tangetical than it already is by explaining why) But is it really realistic?

Isn't it like the same as exaggeration?

I guess you can't really exaggerate your senses, and perhaps in something like a novel, you only see the colours as more vivid as a character because of your 'heightened senses'? I dunno. And it just... Happens xD. You can't control your senses being sharpened or dull. (Transitive and intransitive! Lol. I still don't know which is which. But hey.)

Okay I am not making sense.

And I don't think I should go into the whole post-modern thing about 'what is reality'. ==;

I guess for everyone, reality is different. But hey, the most real thing of all seems to be right here, right now, and so I don't see why I had to write all that fluff (ref: above) to come to this conclusion. But that's how my weird train of thought goes o_O.

Moving on.
End rant.

Okay, on another note, why I started this whole rant in the first place was because I believe, on cloudy days especially, the sky looks flat, because the sky is so 3D and huge, yet the same colour-ish and so see through, that somehow it all smushes into one massive colour and background. I dunno what I'm talking about heh.

But Cath agrees with me :).

But yeah. I was thinking... So 3D that it looks flat? Which is the whole heightened reality thing!

Lol I'm so weird.

As Light As Chaff

And when the wind blows,
Where will you blow to?

I'd like to say that we are as eagles,
or kites,
or something
soaring in the wind.

High and majestic.
Untouchable.

But you know, I can't.
I would be lying if I did.

---

The ridiculousness of it all makes me laugh :)

A breath; A breath!

What is it all worth to me?
And honestly, what is that worth to you?

Fragments

Patiently, you pick up the pieces;
Glue them back together
By the sweat of your blood
Until I am made whole again.

He'll Break Open the Stars (Just to Bring You to Him)

I'm sorry.
I should've known better.

Sometimes I wish I could just tear out my heart, for all the iniquities it bears; though largely unintentional nowadays.

But let me not forget- you've already done away with all my sin. I'm beautiful and pure to You, and nothing (hehe Romans 8) can ever change that.

Thankyou for forgiving me.

If I made a list of all the things I didn't deserve, I'd be sitting here forever.

I'm reminded of James 1:17, yet again: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

So. What's been up lately?

I'm falling behind with work.
Way behind.

Anyhow; will get off blogspot and keep on working.

My Heart is Just a Prisoner of War

Empty my hands;
Fill up my heart;
Capture my mind with You.

Dear Heart- Sanctus Real

Hannah talked about this song today in English Service. I fell in love with it at first listening (to lyrics, and later, the actual song) :).

---

Dear Heart, do you belong to me, or do I belong to you?
Just look at all the trouble you drag me into.
I've heard it said to follow your heart,
But I'm starting to wonder if it's gone too far.

Oh Heart, you've let me down,
Chasing love where it can't be found.
Heart, we've fallen out,
Cause all of your emotions
Have led me to doubt. Tell me who's gonna save us now?

Dear Heart, you're in the wrong place,
Looking out for yourself no matter what I say.
And I know that you're holding me back,
And it's time for a change, so I'm giving you away.

Heart, you've let me down,
Chasing love where it can't be found.
And Heart, we've fallen out,
Cause all of your emotions
Have led me to doubt. Tell me who's gonna save us now?

La la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la (2x)

Heart, you've let me down,
Chasing love where it can't be found.
And Heart, we've fallen out,
Cause all of your emotions
Have led me to doubt. Only Jesus can save us now.

---

No milk so just drinking tea. But no clean cups except a clear, funnel shaped glass. So it looks like I'm drinking beer, cause I purposely made my tea not very concentrated xDDD.

どうして簡単ですか。

It makes it 'too easy'.
Almost.

Doesn't really help =\.

But I know I can trust You.

何をしましょうか。

あ~。 そうか。
（何と言うことがいいですか。）

Constraints

Don't box me in.
Don't think you know me for who I really am.

I don't want to simply fit into the cracks of your mind; I don't want to pour myself into a mould of what you think I am. (Really, it is who you want me to be).

I want to love you. But how can I, if I am to become only a shadow of myself, and how I really feel, around you?

---

If this is how I feel, how much more does our heavenly Father feel when we make up boundaries for Him, inside our head!

The God who created physics bound by its laws?

And, perhaps most relevantly to those of us who are insecure: if he is the God who lovingly crafted us with His very own breath and life; giver of every single gift we have, why do we still doubt ourselves- vessels of His glory, just by living and breathing- and that He is unable to do great things through us?

Isn't your existence already a testimony of how great he is?
How much more he longs to make your life an even greater declaration of His love and power and might!

Finding Love&Hope&Security.

Keep looking at me with those eyes so full of disdain;
You truly disagree with me, and that's okay.

I will stand up all the same.

Still, I can't help crying.

For you.
For what you cry for.

Alone.

---

From the inside out,
Oh my soul cries out.

Keep Telling Me What I Want to Hear.

Things done for selfish reasons break my heart.
But who am I to judge whether something is done from the heart or not, and for a 'good' reason anyway, unless it's my own heart?

Better not to judge; to simply love unconditionally while also being wise and wary about it.

So I'll trust and support you- to an extent, but I will also forgive you- something you probably didn't expect; the reason why you started out on this half-hearted quest anway, to justify yourself- but, I guess, the world won't.

'Self-interest' is healthy, they all say.
And, so, saying you honestly want to love; to give it all up has become a lie in their eyes.
Anyone not like themselves they scorn.

During that self-indulgent, ego-maniacal speel of yours (What you missed)

The Grinch stole Christmas.

loljokes.

But no. Seriously. All this time you've been wrapped up in your own issues; concentrating all your energy in that little, hollow thing called your head, thinking you need everything you got to make it through:

(a) Has this solved anything? Or has it made you more pedantic, worried and hopeless?
(b) Did you notice the signs before it came? Did you? Did you really notice those bloodshot eyes; the slits on her wrists; that pale, pale white turn yellow and grey and ashen.

Or did you only notice when she killed herself?

Question: did you really love her, as you said you did?

Don't wait until it's too late. She might not be fine, no matter what they all say.

The Dichotomy of the Internet.

RICE REVO WEBSITE LAUNCHED.
So exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been getting so many emails of encouragement lately. Dear brothers and sisters sharing what they've learnt recently; prayer points; encouraging news; words of love, as we spur one another on.

Reading stuff on the RICE Revo site is no different. Seeing other like-minded Christians, desperate for God on their knees, crying for revival, and actually seeing His response work, and move, and uphold His precious ones, as he comforts and cherishes them makes this indescribable feeling well up in me.

Of wonder and amazement at the realisation of how deep and wide His love is for us!

Seeing my dear brothers and sisters thirst for God, and seeing His reply of grace and love has been one of the most encouraging aspects of my own walk with God so far in this life, but yet I can't help to feel saddened- even appalled- at this huge... contrast between the lives of His already, saved, cherished ones, and those still sick and hungry- metaphorically and physically.

I was watching this video once on Youtube- I kinda randomly clicked on it, not really thinking that it would relate to me that much, but was interested in it anyway- on sexual temptation, by Josh Harris (HE'S SO COOL. Anyways.). Within something like 10 seconds into his talk, I was already shocked. What he said was such an obvious observation, yet it never hit me till then.

He said (something along the lines of), "I bet some of you who are watching this on the internet will be shocked to think that somewhere out there, a click away, is a porn video [he then goes on to say something about how disgusting it is to God, or something of the like]"

Like, whoa dude. Whoa. (Haha church camp win ;D)

All this RICE Revo stuff made me think of it. There's so much great stuff on the internet. People using Facebook to reach out to people; encouraging blogs, etc. It's awesome.

But somewhere, a click away, is some one, dying. Drowning. Their heart is being eaten away at on the inside; they're screaming, internally; they have no hope. They're desperate for something bigger; they're desperate for saving. A hero on a white horse comes around, but he ends up being just like the rest of them. Till there's nothing, nothing, nothing; a stone cold heart.

How I used to feel.

All this made me realise...
You're either on His side, or you're not.

It's a dichotomy; an all or nothing; there's no fence sitting.

You can dwell in His house forever, or be banished from His presence forever.
You're either righteous in His sight, through the grace given to us through Jesus, which we're so undeserving of... Or you're not.
You're so incredibly sinful (and rightfully so, as you deserve) that He can't stand even being with you, no matter how much it hurts Him to see you like this.

You're so set apart... So holy.
Now, in you, we are too.

And so, about this dichotomy on the internet.
We're but a small portion of the population.
Perhaps a couple of IP addresses versus a thousand.

But with faith even as small as a mustard seed...
Even so, I expect to be blown away by how glorious you are.

You're the God of this City, and of this world, and there's nothing you can't do.

Your name will be glorified, and nothing can stop You.

けす

to switch off, to turn off / to erase / to extinguish

---

Cynical people are scary.
Scary as in... the things they do can be scary.
They, like, dash people hopes and dreams away :(.

But underneath all that, surely there's a softer heart, with a longing for real, true, pure love and success and happiness that they always put down?

---

Reblogged from Josh Harris' blog:

Judgment + Hypocrisy = Cynicism

"While purporting to 'see through' others' facades, cynics lack purity of heart. A significant source of cynicism is the fracture between my heart and my behavior. It goes something like this: My heart gets out of tune with God, but life goes on. So I continue to perform and say Christian things, but they are just words. I talk about Jesus without the presence of Jesus. There is a disconnect between what I present and who I am. My words sound phony, so other's words sound phony too. In short, my empty religious performance leads me to think that everyone is phony. The very thing I am doing, I accuse others of doing. Adding judgment to hypocrisy breeds cynicism."

- Paul Miller, A Praying Life, page 91

It would be so much easier if I wasn't that weird/retarded xD.
But hey; Father, you made me this way, for your own unique purposes :).

You are what you... Write? xD

She wrote a story about a little girl.
Little did she know, that girl was her.

Those thoughts she thought unique to her character were, really, hers after all.

She, in a strange, round-a-bout sort of way, wrote her own fate.

Broken pieces made whole

in You.

Sing a new melody:

Smile.

And mean it :).
For everything You are!

Sand through your fingers.

Click.
Another 5 minutes, gone.

Blink, blink.
Stoned;
Staring at a blank screen.

Pray.

Dance.

It's, like, a whole other world.
You're like a whole other world away.

And when two worlds collide, there's sparks?
Or explosions.
Friction.

Or something.

But I want to orbit with You.

Somebody loves you.

You're beautiful, okay?
Never ever ever forget that.

Unassuming Things

How small my world is!
How little have I seen of the real world!

Inevitably, though, I will have to face it someday.

I would like to turn my back on all it has to offer, but of course; that's easier said than done.
That's why, I guess, in everything, Philippians 4:6!

Grieve, Mourn and Wail; Steadfastness

⁸Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

(James 4)

³ You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.

⁴ Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

⁵ He humbles those who dwell on high,
he lays the lofty city low;
he levels it to the ground
and casts it down to the dust.

⁶ Feet trample it down—
the feet of the oppressed,
the footsteps of the poor.

⁷ The path of the righteous is level;
O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth.

⁸ Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,
we wait for you;
your name and renown
are the desire of our hearts.

(Isaiah 26)

Here I am.

.______________.

I can't believe just how little work I can do in so much time.
Must be skill ._.

Where Will All Your Pretty Words Take You Now?

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

(1 Corinthians 13:1-13)

I wish I could stop thinking.
Sometimes.

So that I could actually sleep;
So that I could actually do my work properly, for once.

I think I think I think too much.

Need
To
Find
Rest
In You.

Take a deep breath.

Breathe.

It's time.
To
Refocus
And
Reshift
Your
Concentration
To
Thethingsthatreallymatter.

Why do you think of such 無聊 things?

Echo

Me: DON'T EAT THE CHOCOLATE. SAVE MONEYS.
Renee: Sorry. The Time-Out was like, "EAT ME ;D"

Aww.
:(

Eat me hehe :D.

---

Your words, they take my breath away.

Each word has, embedded in it, unfathomable images;
Of millions of stars; twinkling just for 'us';
Of incomprehensible, overwhelming grief;
A sense of loss;
Of longing (and belonging);
Of love,
Lost.

Your words are beautiful; they take the reader away on an amazing journey of thought, weaving through memories; both stitching them and unpicking them, one by one.

Your writing is amazing.

But perhaps your words are just hollow shells;
Beautiful, but empty.

They echo with longing;
Echoes that resound as they fade away.

How can such beautiful words and imagery contain such ugly images?
Tis an eerie thought...

Doesn't it feel weird when you're not used to it? xD

Strip away that surface layer, and what do you see?
Vulnerable and delicate;
As a flower fading that was once beautiful.

Perhaps there is even no need to dig to find.

Who are you?

Where do you find your worth?
Where do you find your strength and beauty?

Or, do you find none;
Nothing beautiful at all.

Whoever you are;
For whatever reason you're reading this,
There's somebody who loves you.

Somebody who is unchanging and unfailing and forever, and longs to call you His own.

Promise

All I have is your promises;
I cling to you, my rock.

The times I break down and cry out of pure frustration;
The times I just want to scream;
The times I feel so terrible and dirty and sinful;
The times I'm proud and stuck up and won't say sorry;
The times I'm angry for the wrong reasons;
The times I'm broken and lost;
The times I feel completely empty inside;
The times I forget who You are and what You've done
for me
for us
The times I feel second-class
Fade away.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe :).
But does it make any difference?

Fail to Succeed :)

From: http://fervr.net/qna/why-does-god-allow-the-devil-to-exist/

(stolen off angus' blog xD. thanks dude :) )

God being sovereign means that God is completely and utterly in control of everything. Nothing happens outside his plans.

Us being responsible means that when we do things wrong, we are responsible for them. We are responsible because we do want we want to do. When we sin, no one has forced us to do something that we were totally opposed to.

Two examples:

Joseph speaking to his brothers about them selling him as a slave, Genesis 50:20 - “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” The brothers did evil (and were responsible for it) and yet at the same time God was in control and using this event to bring good.

Most profoundly of all, Jesus’s death on the cross, Acts 2:23 - “This man was handed over to you by God’s set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross.” The chief priests wanted to kill Jesus, and they did so, and they are responsible. But at the same time God was bringing his purposes about - He had always intended that Jesus would die, an innocent man giving his life to accomplish the saving of many lives. God had always intended that the chief priests would put Jesus to death - God is sovereign AND they are responsible.

(HOW AWESOME IS THAT. Good reminder. Things I stuff up... He will work for his good!)

GGGG (double owned; no I'm not singing SNSD)

Was doing chem, and kept writing 'HOH', until I realised it was actually meant to be water.
GG.

On another note (wait; I'm still getting GG-ed, so it's not really another note O_O), my hands are so cold that they hurt o______O.

Who is like you, mighty God!?
Who can take me from your hand?

Pierce

With a blunt knife;
Straight through to the heart.

Your discernment, yeah.
That's what it does.

(I like it like that ;D)

:(

lalalalalalalalala
annoyingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

that GG was for you, to me hehe :)

I Found Love, Yeah, Believe It Or Not :)

I just realise what a long way we've come, from naive, noob little girls,
craving for love and affection.

I do believe we've found it.

Give Us Clean Hands; Pure Hearts.

It's going to drag other people down too.
Can't you see? =\

It's not as easy as it looks.

Please reconsider?

I Will Be Blunt.

With every step you take, you either step further or closer.

There is no staying still.

So, tell me now; which will you choose?

Tailor-Made.

How did humans come up with the words 'infallible' and 'perfect' if there is no such thing as that in the world?

I had become cynical- at first, I scorned humankind for such a thing.

But when I turned and looked, with humbled eyes, now I see humankind knows he is not perfect. He does not often pretend to be either, knowing what a failure he is. But he still thirsts and longs for it, however unattainable it may seem.

And so if there is no such thing as perfection- if this world were as good as it could ever get; if it were the 'normal', only way to live- how could we have come up with this term perfection?

Surely it must exist?
And there must be something implanted deep in us humans that makes us want to be perfect.

If this life is truly who we're meant to be- a rowdy, dirty, proud bunch of people, why do we still have such great aspirations for improvement? Surely those thoughts must have come from something bigger and better? Or us- noobs- would not know any better- wouldn't know anything greater than who we are.

Well, even though I wont' find perfect, I know I'll find perfect for me, in your plans.

Tremble

My hands shake,
And I get goosebumps all over,
And my heart skips a beat,
With Joy all over again.

Graceful Awkwardness :)

I love the way you're so not eloquent-
Your words stumble over each other.
I can just imagine the way you wrote those words;
So innocent and sweet.

And though it's probably the same thing you write on everyone's cards-type-of-thing, thankyou- for being straight from the heart.

Linger

Jen showing me video of agedashi tofu and other food.
I'm hungry.
:(

Yummmmmmmmmmm food D=.

---

As I flip through the pages/pieces of paper, one by one, each page, heavy in my fingers, lingers both in my hands and in my memory.
Each page, a new smile; a laugh; perhaps a slight frown.
The good and the bad; the fail and the even more fail xD.

These ink-filled pages are like imagery in themselves, conjuring up memories and pictures of times past.

But yet, it's time to move on.
To keep going.

One Desire

I know what I will;
What I want,
And I don't like it.

I don't like what I like.

Lord God, what is your will?
Show me, so that I may do it with all my heart!

Taste and see that the Lord is good!

Yes, Lord!
My heart thirsts for you.

Just because they don't complain doesn't mean that they don't hurt.

Blindness.

She sits quietly in the corner, her sad doe eyes screaming, 'Notice me'.

I'm so good at creative writing.

This is a story Renee and I wrote in IPT one lesson in Chinese:

"Once upon a time, there was a pretty princess. She was very beautiful.

One day, a handsome prince saw her, and they fell in love with each other, at first sight.

They got married and lived very happily together for about 2 years, when they discovered the princess was pregnant! They had a pair of twins- one boy and one girl. The boy was very handsome and the girl very pretty.

But their parent's enemies were jealous..."

And I can't remember what happened next in the story xD.

Good times; good times xD.

Chyeaaaaaaaah I'm going to own stocks prize ._.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Writing is so hard!
T____________T

(for me xD)

Philippians 3:8

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

---

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ

($%*)(@*#$%()*%#)(*%#(# annoyance.

There's so many things to be annoyed about.
There's the little things... Then there's the big things.

But on the flip-side.
Who am I to think these little problems take precedence over Your plans? I am nothing/no one.
Who am I, to let myself be consumed by all these thoughts? I am yours.

Just last week, I realised how easily irritable I have become this year. (Or maybe just didn't realise it before)
I was going to snap at someone. Then I realised how all they did was try to love me.

And then I felt so ashamed, as I realised how petty I was.

If I can't even stand something small, how can I be entrusted with anything big?

Even if it happens over and over again, where's my patience?
How am I going to get by in this world that will throw even greater things at me?

Change me.
Mould me into who You made me to be.

I crave quiet alone time with you.
I want to sing and dance just for you.

---

The most amazing song with the most amazing story behind it: It Is Well With My Soul.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Yes.

I know.
I know.
I know.

I'm sorry.

But seriously. You tell me off- I know I deserve and need it.
But seriously. Don't you know?
It hurts me more than it hurts you.

How many countless nights have I cried over this.

You think I don't really care.

I don't want to make you worry.

I cry.
I try and try.
Break down.

But it always comes down to me not trying hard enough?
Or something like that.

Daddy, I don't know what to do.
You tell me to trust you- but trust you to take me where?
Perhaps I am simply impatient to know, but it really hurts.

No matter what, give me joy and love that overflows!

---

Ahahahaha my sister is such a fail :).

---

Yay for phone calls :).
Anyhow.
STOCKS PRIZE ._.

True Colours.

What are yours?

My life about/in You (is not about me).

Who is she?
I don't recognise her.
She's not me.

... Is she?

I don't believe so.

---

I pray&&wish you all the best :).

I wonder where you'll go onto-
Big things, surely!
The places He'll take you will be simply amazing.

But by big and amazing, I hope you know I don't mean high-profile, epic things.
I mean being blessed; fruitful; rich in love, simply because of His hand in your life.

And no matter what, we'd love to be part of it.

Warm&&Fuzzies.

All this just brings me further away from you.
I want you with all my heart.

I know you, Daddy, won't keep yourself from me.

---

Losing your mind.

---

IloveIlove:
lying in bed; soft, cashmere-like clothes, and lately, scarves that you can wear like shawls.
:)

It's probably just me but I love the feeling of sheets against my skin, or other nice types of cloth. So I don't like wearing thick clothing? Unless I'm wearing heaps of layers; all dressed/dolled up, cause that's always fun (:.

So these days, I should probably wear more clothes but I don't like it cause I feel all yucky and stiff in them ):.

And milk tea!
And my trackies hehe. They're also made of smooth material.

I feel like a hobo :).

One of these days, I plan to walk out of the house looking like a gangster in my dad's massive FCUK hoodie, my skinnies which I can't find and nikes.
Haha.

Except lately I've been feeling too fat to wear jeans.
Yucky :(.

Random rambling.

I don't like cold weather.
Except for how nice heaters feel on cold days LOL.

I'm weird.