tell me ; tell me ,
where are you headed with this ?

im sorry to say this to you , but it will only get worse =\ .

the road not taken .

the road not taken
is a poem ,
talking about a guy who ' took the path less worn '
and its consequences .

but what if
you had no choice ?
what if you failed , but had no other alternative but to take the path you didn`t want to go down ?

well , Lord ,
i cant wait to see where you take me from here !
it hurts , but in the whole scheme of things , you have plans i could only dream of .

this year , i`ve learnt something of using my circumstances to let you use me ,
no matter what .
( through various fails , and successes . )

it hurts , but you comfort .
and you do so much more than that ; filling up the hole in my heart with you ,
and letting it overflow , everywhere .

this , i promise you ...

i will not make promises ,
because i am human too ,
and i fail , too .

except this ; i will try my best ,
always .

just keep in mind that i will fail at that ,
and while doing that too .

---

bed hair .
from afternoon nap xD .

i need more sleep ._.

like proper sleep =\ .

tiiiiiiiiiiiiired Dx .

---

i totally agree with you .
' your faith is strong , but i can only fall short for so long ' - half of my heart ; john mayer .

but perhaps theres another alternative to failure ,
that does not necessarily involve success as the way you see it .

for orientation day , miss mc mahon talked about ' being happy ' by ' succeeding in what you want ' , and that NSG offered optimum opportunity to do this .

yeah , right . just look at daul kim .

even so , few succeed as well as she did .

perhaps the pleasure is in the journey ,
as you await something bigger and better .

---

how ironic =\ .
but i guess , it`s for the better ( thankyou Lord , that it`s not up to me )

i just wonder ...
你爲什麽已經忘記了？很快的 .

i guess its ironic either way you look at it xD .

funny , but sad .

daddy , what are you doing through all this ?
i really don`t know , but i`d love you to show me , so that i may give it my all !

daddy , they need you , as do i .

daddy , make me strong .

---

i want to fall in love with you ; over and over again <33 .

---

today i realised how bad my written chinese has become :( .

korean poem <33 ( thanks liz )

yeah .
what dugald said .
im going to miss scripture with him so much =\ .

im gonna miss jas and byl so much D; .

im gonna miss my maxdodgegirlfriends so much :( .

im gonna miss my bros so much =33 .

im going to miss you >w< . yes you :) . but i`ll be having fun shopping >D .
for a whole month :DDD .

yayayayaya ^_^ .

xD

anyways im not going . yet .

HONGKONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE - massivelyhearts -
( more than pikachu ! :D )

---

but seriously xD .
what if i died tomorrow ?
or you ?

i know i`d miss you .
so much .
it would hurt .

but i`ll see you up there ! :DDD
( the awesomest bit of being your sister xD )

still .
i`d like you to know how much you mean to me .
whatever ; whenever ; may every breath i take ; every word i speak ; every action i do be i love you .
i would hate to let you go without feeling so .

춤추라 , 아무도 바라보고 있지않은것처럼.
Dance, like no one is watching you.

사랑하라, 한번도 상처받지않은 것처럼.
Love, like you’ve never been hurt before.

노래하라, 아무도 듣고 있지 않은 것처럼.
Sing, like no one can hear you.

일하라, 돈이 필요하지 않은 것처럼.
Work, like you don’t need money.

살라, 오늘이 마지막 날인것처럼.
Live, like heaven is on earth.

<33

why are you laughing ? D;
it`s not even funny :( .
you laugh at the weirdest things ever .

but then again , like im some one to talk xD .

thankyou for making me laugh jas :) .
i feel a lot less stoned now :D .

i am sorry
that i am not cool like that .

i wish i could
but i can`t
so you`ll just have to bear with me .

but i promise you
i will try .

H2O .

water ,
in my opinion ,
is one of the most beautiful
creations
to watch ,
observe ,
enjoy
and cherish .

the rain dripping down the car window ;
ice ; delicate to touch ;
water condensing ;
each little droplet - beautiful in its own right ,
which i , in my noob - ness , do not have the capacity to describe ,
and capture it`s true beauty ,
just like its maker .

amused .

nature is amazing ,
and i am enjoying myself composing a report for commerce .
it`s so fun pieceing together words ; dissecting them ; rearranging them , each combination with its own denotations and connotations :) .

i also find the skin of ice in my cup , on top of my water amusing .
very pretty , yet fragile , and plastic - y to touch .

forgetfulness
is a terrible enemy .

so is lethargy .

and being lazy .

whatever it takes .

please , Lord ,
do whatever it takes ,
to turn me around ,
towards you .

whatever it is ,
whatever it takes .
i am weak but you are strong .

all else fades .

kyou , i feel stoned desu .
and i do really really wish i could have gone to elena`s party <33 .

my sister picked me pretty red flowers ^_^ .
- hearts - .

gomenasai ~
- awkward turtles -

and i need your love .

yours , only .

it`s great your love finds practical expression in my family and friends , and otherwise .
but at the end of the day ,
all else fades ;
you remain .

it`s great i love them , and they love me .
but your love is greater , still .

I am a flower quickly fading ;
here today and gone tomorrow ,
a wave tossed in the ocean .
still you hear me when im calling ,
Lord you catch me when I`m falling -
I am yours .

only , yours .

---

Meteor Shower - Owl City

I can finally see
That you're right there beside me .
I am not my own ,
For I have been made new .
Please don't let me go ,
I desperately need you .

I am not my own ,
For I have been made new .
Please don't let me go ,
I desperately need you .

<33

wistful .

i wish ( that ... )
but still , i don`t know what`s best for me .
i try ,
but i fail .

which is a good thing ,
in accordance with my second statement .

---

my failure is your success ; part your great plans .
my every failure and success is according to your plan .

but still , i need to let you teach me from my fails ;
do something about them ;
and do something through them .

so here goes .

thankyou for not letting me go .

being unselfish ( except it doesn`t matter anymore ) .

perhaps , this time , it`s better to leave the truth unsaid ,
if i want to be completely unselfish .
._.

but the truth doesn`t really matter anymore .

or is it really the truth ?
ireallydunno . which makes it harder .
no matter ; time to let go everything to you , Lord <33 .
:)

i will trust you to be faithful ,
as you have been ,
always <33 .

( so what about everything else . you , Lord will be who you are .
pure , sweet love . )

hot , stifling weather ( makes me stoned in an attempt to stay cool xD ) .

your irony .
scares me xDDD .

i know you mean well .
but still xD .
i just take you too seriously haha .

thankyou anyways
<33 .

---

i know you mean well too .
mean well , but not acting in what seems to be the best manner =\ .
or seeming to support it with actions .

but still .
i love you too .
no matter what .

i don`t know .
i don`t get it either .

i am thinking of : proverbs 3 : 5-6 .
&& practice what you preach ? =S

---

bestest friend ever .
you`re cool .

but our God is cooler still .

yeah . i don`t know much ; im a noob .
but i know this : only he can , and will quench your thirst .

---

thankyou jas <33 .

---

it was hot today .
and hectic .
but God did even hectic - er things .
<33 .

( and this is not ) the end .

will blog later , since it`s like ... late xD .
ed day tomorrow .

incomplete melody .

yesterday night , i was empty and lonely and sad .

i knew it - you loved me , she loved me , he loved me , they love me ; i was literally and figuratively surrounded by love , and they were all there for me - but i couldn`t feel it .

it had been so long i had forgotten what it felt like to be lonely and sad .
i didn`t doubt your love , but i doubted your existance .

because i had shut myself out from you ; too blind to see you .

i was tired , and pushed you out , thinking i was just resting , instead of drawing on your strength .

i saw the warning signs long ago , but pushed on by myself , stubbornly .

' how long ? ' , i cried to you , again and again .

i longed to see you ; feel you - again . even just a tiny glimpse of you would be enough to heal my broken heart .

but you seemed silent . where was that mighty , saviour servant King who loved me ?

i didn`t think that i could stand it anymore .

and yet , you lifted me up again , at your perfect timing , not mine .
your whole world screaming , ' i love you ' .
your love song to me .

may you fill up my incomplete melody back to you , with your grace notes .

( teehee . incomplete melody - lee hom . )

---

in the end , does it really matter ?

one year ; one month ; one minute ; one second .
you blink , and your life passes .

you think you learnt your lesson , and so because it`s your life , you will not waste it , grasping hold of every opportunity you can .

' it`s my life ; mine ! ' you say , and you`re desperate for freedom , but really you`re just desperate . desperately trying to make something of your life before it passes , wanting to be some one .

but it`s not your life ; you can`t be all you wanted , and you will die , just another faceless , nameless nobody .

jane doe ; john smith ; you grow up , get a job , earn money , spend it , and die .
a never ending cycle of futility .

absolutely charming picture . not including all the times you trample on people to get up there .

in the end , you`re still so lonesome and in need of simple , pure , sweet love ; something the world tries to hide away , to keep to themselves .

perhaps you gave the world your best , but the rest of them trampled on you for that .

perhaps you think you`re strong , but you still feel lonely . just a bit , just a little , little bit .

---

vanilla twilight - owl city <33>

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

owl city = LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D .

Psalm 23 <33

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

---

why are you so great to me , the undeserving ?
you do not hide yourself from me , and i long to see you , more and more .

diet + recount xD .

warning / disclaimer :
contains a very dodgy , incoherent recount . proceed at your own risk .
and oops . blogspot stuck it all together in mostly one big chunk . dodge ? O_O
i put in lots of cool paragraph breaks before T_T .

---

so . i told elena i would blog xD .
so here i go .

---

i am going on a ' stuff - bad - for - me - diet ' , including junkfood , facebook and msn . until ... friday ? ^^; . oh wait but my junkfood ban continues untill like ... yeah ages :) . except im failing it xD .
so if you want to contact me , call me :DDD ( hehe . i like ) . or email me on my msn account xDDD .

but i bet i`ll break my ban .
like soon .
><; I MISS YOU GUYS ALREADY ><; . --- head aching . so tired ><; . waterrrrrrrrr hehe :) . anyhow . onto more interesting stuff xD . WORK EXPERIENCE :DDD . was ... interesting hehe :DDD . ( wahh wanna go on msn to tell you guys all about it ><; ... might call jas later hehe :D ) what really struck me , though , was the amount of paper used . just photocopying , i used like hundreds of sheets . and saw like thousands of pieces of paper today . so crazy . like photocopying wills 50 pages long . was interesting to read xD . and contracts O_O . more on that later xD . anyhow . so . got to office . my mum made my boss - man sound scary :( ( cause he`s a long - time family friend xD ) . but he was so funny xDDD . and then she left . boss - man : do you wanna sign your name ? mum : sign what ? boss - man : you know . for your courier service delivery me : xDDD except it was all conducted in canto . cause yeah . they were like ' can you speak canto ? do you want us to speak english ? ' . except i like speaking canto cause I NEED TO PRACTICE MY DODGY CANTO HEHE :) . and canto is fun :DDD . anyhows . so first job i got was photocopying O_O . was fun at first , then got mundane ( HEHE YES ; ITS THAT WORD RENEE xD . ROFL ) but i wasn`t really bored anyways xD . just really repetitive . AND THEN THE LADY IN CHARGE OF ME SHOWED ME THIS REALLY COOL WAY TO PHOTOCOPY T_T . and i was like - FAIL - xD . so i photocopied for like the whole morning xD . and then i went to soak stamps , and pasted stamps on envelopes . IT WAS SO FUN MATCHING DIFFERENT COMBINATIONS OF STAMPS TO MAKE UP THE SAME PRICE 8) . the lady laughed at me for pasting 3 stamps on lots of envelopes D; . but 3 stamps isn`t that much xD . i wanted to do 4 before , but i figured it would be inconvenient to make other combos with later , if i used up all the 5c stamps . someday , i will post some one a letter made up of purely 5c stamps :DDD . teehee :) . or postcard ? i wanna send postcards in hk , but my mum will probably be >>; at me , and the post office people >>; at me for wasting my time pasting on stamps , and their time for stamping the stamps Dx .
kept doing stamps throughout the day - ish . cause they were always there , and i did them when there was nothing else to do xD .

also got given paper to shred at the end hehe . like huuuuuuuuuuge stacks of paper . and i can only shred like 2-3 sheets at once , and only a few times in a row , cause it will overheat the shredder . GG will take me ages xD . but then again , it`s ' something to do in your spare time '

anyhow . onto more interesting stuff .
went to the bank to deposit a cheque in the company trust account O_O .
felt weird .
also walked to Central Criminal Court , where my boss - man took me around for like 5 mins and explained stuff briefly xD . sounds cool !
filled in form for lady :) . and faxed it teehee .
checked some transaction records , for dealings with other companies . cant be bothered to explain on blog , cause takes too long xD . each transaction takes up a page O____O . as in like it says the date , the transaction number , transaction client , function , and price on one page . taking up a whole page . with like a full logo , address thing at top of page xD . and some of the transactions only cost like $1 something xDDD .
ripped out pages that make up contracts . each contract page comes in a separate pre-printed pack that you rip off like a page on a notebook O_O . weird .
learnt stuff about the NSW Land thingy that keeps records of every single property in NSW . and each property in NSW has hundreds of pages of stuff on them O_O . and these records have to be sent everywhere for a contract to occur xD . so cool ! hehe . complex .
learnt other interesting stuff that i cant be bothered to type .
who`s going to bother to read through all my rambling anyways ? LOLOLOL :) .

lunch was funny . all the ladies are soooooooooooooo nice ^_^ . and the guys are really funny bhahahahaha >) .
theres this uncle who goes to NSCAC :DDD . hehe . might ask NSCAC people if they know him - stalks - xD .

the office is all covered in stuff like bible verses and cool stuff like that ^_^ .
i like .
also has random bits of expensive - looking furniture , like an antique looking chinese table . but for lunch , we had sesame street placemats :DDD . random xD .

well . tomorrow , im going to the Central Criminal Court again . for a divorce application with a client ><; . very sad =\ . - sigh - . HEY i just realised . it shouldnt be criminal court xD . i dunno . will see . - fails - xD . might go downing centre sometime too :DDD . level 5 or something . dont remember what that`s about ><; . stamps waiting for me when i get back tomorrow D; . i wish i were doing legal studies next year too now ><; . SO INTERESTING ><; .

COME TO LUNCH WITH ME , IF YOU`RE ALSO IN THE CITY ? :D
( teehee . got interrogated at lunch today about going out for lunch .
boss - man : let me ask you ... are you going out with a guy or girl tomorrow ?
bhahahaha xD .
also something lame he said :
boss - man : yeah , there`s all types of courts , you know ? going up , local , district , supreme , high , etc . they - oh wait , must not not forget the most important type of court - the food court ! at least it leaves you full , you know . all the other courts are like ... whatever xD ... oh , and the badminton court too , cause you can have fun . - proceeds to talk about law courts -
bhahahahah :) )

at your feet .

psalm 8 ; lifehouse - everything ; chris tomlin - how can i keep from singing .

how could anyone stand in your awesome presence
and not be moved ;
simply by how great you are ?

when i consider simply the works of your hands -
how all the stars shine your glory ,
and as heaven declares your name -
how small do i feel !

and yet it is their maker that loves me ;
one far greater
than any
planet
or star
or universe ;
the one who spoke them into being ,
who speaks to me ;
your every word ' i love you ' .

what is man that you are mindful of him ?
let alone broken ; sinful man ,
who despised you ?

your works inspire much awe in me ;
but who you are , more ;
your love by far more .

so how can i stand here with you ,
and not be moved by you ?

how could i ever approach you ,
with anything but awe ,
at your feet ?
and yet you promise me a place ,
by your side , forever .

---

how can i keep from singing your praise ?
how can i ever say enough -
how amazing is your love !

intimacy <33 .

i love my family :
mum ; dad ; bro ; sis
^_^
all you are ; all you`ve done .
( but as for all that`s left unsaid and undone , that needs to be done , it breaks my heart . )

i love you sis :
we on a rollrollroll :D .

i love you bro :
<33
sososososo much .

i love you best friend :
we should talk more ><; ,
cause we havent been much lately .

i love you too , ' my BESTEST friend EVER ' xD .
no matter how dodge you are :)

i love you , even though you don`t know i do ,
that much .
you give me so much encouragement .

thankyou ;
never alone <33 .

i love you Lord ;
but no where near as much as you love me =33 .

---

no greater love have i ever known ;
capture my heart ,
again <33 .

what is it ?

COOL :D .

i don`t believe in coincidences ;
i believe in God .