one of my favourites .

oh ,
something i forgot to tell you on the phone the other day ( jas ) :

2 Samuel 22:31-37

31 "As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.

32 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?

33 It is God who arms me with strength [h]
and makes my way perfect.

34 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.

35 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

36 You give me your shield of victory;
you stoop down to make me great.

37 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

i read it in hk , and <3333333333333333333333333333 !
xD

and , at the same time ,

faith .

okay .
here i am elena :) .
going to try blog more , and less ... obscurely ? xD

so .

things that worry me :
not keeping up .

well yes ; i shouldnt worry .
but i do .
and it`s not good ._. .

stress on top of stress on top of stress .
rawr .
die .
head aches .
sick .

but
' abraham believed God , and it was credited to him as righteousness ' .
wow .

just
believe .

something that`s been on my mind lately :
im so sinful .
how can i even look up at you ?
accept that you died for me ?
why you love me so much ?
why am i so undeserving ?
i can`t stand it .

but ,
the deeper
i wallow in my sin ;
and sinfulness ,
the deeper i go in it .

and then i hear your voice ;
what`s this ? have i died for nothing ?
nothing you do ; everything i did .
it`s done .
and i love you .

my next question :
where to go next ?
so fragile .
and i hear your voice again , in response :
just believe ;
just believe .

free - falling ;
falling ;
soaring , under the shadow of your wings .

all men are liars .

ooft .
to feel ... absolutely vulnerable .
a big hole in your heart .
to open yourself up ...
to get hurt .
to feel like trust nobody ; trust nobody .

psalm 116 :
10 I believed; therefore I said,
"I am greatly afflicted."

11 And in my dismay I said,
"All men are liars."

to feel like ...
an absolute mess ;
dirty ; disgusting ; sinful .

and then i hear your voice ;
trust me ; give yourself to me .
it will be all okay .

you sound just like my Lord .
but the difference is , he keeps his promises .

and then the flood of grace .

the simple things

oh the little things
that make your people smile ;
the ridiculous ; the little loving ;
the lame in the bleak .

i can`t help but smile ,
and be thankful for your reminders
of how im never alone .

i love it how
no matter how many times i cut the string ,
you keep knotting it again ,
and again .

no matter how
disgusting
what i do is ;
how unworthy i am .

but i can`t stand this
' being apart ' from you ;
cause it`s really me pushing you away .

i long to see you ;
know you .

ohmygosh .
what have i done ?
it`s disgusting .

why do you love me ?
me ; the worst of the worst .

the ocean does not exist .

how can you say
' the ocean does not exist ' ,
when you haven`t even
tried searching for it ;
tried to look for yourself
just how far ;
wide ;
and deep
it is ?

or maybe ,
you`ve restricted yourself
to ' safe ' places ;
dry , dusty deserts ;
no place for a dry , crusty , thirsty heart .

so ,
because you have never been fully immersed in it ,
it does not exist .
you`ve felt the rain that the clouds gather from it ,
but there`s only rain .

no ocean .
nothing that great and big
could possibly exist .

i hate this .

i cant go on
like this .

yet i somehow , for some reason ,
do not
make the effort
to move .

i dont understand .
if it`s ' love ' ;
if it`s what you`ve given your life to ;
can`t you at least try ?

you`re old enough .
mature enough .
you know well enough .

it just seems so passive ...
yet when it suits you ...
or when you need to ...

bring it on (:

- _ vt ~ says:

yeah

22:34:09- _ vt ~ says:

i'mma BEAT YUO

22:34:11- _ vt ~ says:

in lameness

bring it on (:

- _ vt ~ says:

yeah

22:34:09- _ vt ~ says:

i'mma BEAT YUO

22:34:11- _ vt ~ says:

in lameness

what is this ?
momentary - ness
is not it
at all .

that's not it !
if only
you`d look
further ,
you`d be found .

ahh im sorry .
i can`t help you .
save you .
comfort you .
much .

but some one else can .
fully .

ive been trying too hard ,
on my own ,
to let him comfort me .