no mistakes .

as a child ,
i used to be fascinated
by the most intricate , complicated things ;
like puzzles
that would fit together perfectly
to become one , amazing masterpiece .

puzzle rings ;
problem solving puzzles ;
sculptures ;
etc ,
etc .

these man - made things intrigued me
because they were so ... smart xD .
and perfect .

just one little twist ;
a fault ;
one piece of out place ;
and the whole thing would fall apart .

now , when i look at the work of your hands ,
and see all the amazing , intricate things
you yourself designed ,
and your awesome plans for your children ,
so beautifully entwined ,
i cannot help but stop and wonder -
how great is our God !

every little twist and turn ;
a part of the puzzle .
every meeting ; parting part of your great masterpiece !

perfect ; enduring ; intricate .
yet still so simple .

my ' whatever it takes '
takes me places i never wished i`d go .

but it`s what it takes ,
and it takes me
closer
and closer
to you .

a little key called love .

eurgh just ate a really dodge lolly .
i swear it had like ... nut in it but i didnt notice .
cause i just ate it without looking xD .

oops xD .

my throat`s itchy now ( Y ) .
GG xD .

---

Lord , Lord , Lord ,
what should i say ?
what should i do ?
to bring you glory ...

though it`s not what i do that you will delight in , my heart cries out to you - i want to see you work ; i want to see you , more and more .

&& my heart`s desire
is to worship you
with all i am .

to know you ,
intimately .

---

iloveher , don`tdaretouchher ;
you misunderstandher .

i do too ,
but Lord , you don`t ;
you know what she needs .
every little thought running through her mind .
the mess of emotions in her heart .

i just pray&&pray&&pray that she`ll accept it .

---

the door to your heart
has already been unlocked ,
with the only key that fits .

if only you would open up ,
and let him in ;
and all the mess ,
out .

please don`t lock yourself in ,
and throw away the key ;
the little key called love .

screw the world ?

aiya .
blisters ! :( .
hurts . hehe ^^; .

oh , by the way , my ' nice shoes ' are my mum`s xD , and my mum bought me that ' little black dress ' xDDD .
lol haha :) .
ilovemymummy <33 .

even though she`s not perfect .

---

omgsh .
little kids have such nice skin ^^ .
<33

like today on the train .

but then i thought , like someday the kid will get pimples .
and ugly , oily blackheads . or maybe eczema or something dodge .

( LOL maddyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . you call me cynical xD . others call me naive . i dunno :( )

it`s like ...
perfection .
spoiled by the world`s influences .

like a world spoiled by sin .

also
just like how all of us have these awesomeeeeeeeeee great , big dreams to save the world when we`re children .
and as a speaker said at church once , these are god - given dreams .

and then the world comes along and goes ' NONONONO YOU CAN`T DO THIS ' .

you`re like ...
not smart enough
or pretty enough
or like whatever .

or like
it won`t earn you enough money
so you`ll be like fully slaving away
and you`ll regret it so much
you`ll hate your job

etc .
etc .

anyway , the reason im writing this is ,
it made me cry , once .
and i couldn`t stop , just thinking about it .

to think ; even my loved ones tell me such things .

and what`s worse :
they`re absolutely right .
and i`m like that too .
and i`ll be exactly like them in 20 years time .

sometimes ,
i want to just go against the flow .
but then , i remind myself , they`re right .
i`ll end up like ... whatever .

but i also know
that you`ve given me these gifts and talents
for a reason .
i shouldn`t just throw them away , in my stubbornness .

true ; everyone will be like ' i told you so ' .
but Lord , you promised me so .

you have a perfect plan for me .

therefore ,
i won`t give up ;
throw everything away .

instead , i`ll keep praying ; watching ; waiting .
while developing these gifts and talents .

2 Timothy 1:6- For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God
and verse 7: a spirit of power , of love and of self - discipline

something you have taught me this year ; Ecclesiastes 3:1- There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven .
i never really understood it`s meaning until this year .

MyLordyouaresoamazinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg <33 !

T_______________T .
omgsh .
go away , alex fong .

your songs are so nice , but depressing .
hehe ^^; .

tenth avenue north now teehee :) .

---

Hallelujah -

At first I am afraid but not because of fear
But the Holy of Holies is drawing me near
Your voice like thunder shakes the ground I'm on

So hide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh Lord
Hide my sin from the beauty here before Your throne
Your throne

Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slain
Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slain
And so we enter in to see Your face, yeah
We enter in to see Your face, oh God

Well I'm falling to my knees. I feel the earth beneath
With the weight of my sin, and this crushing unbelief
Could You really love me with all that I've done, oh Lord

You spread Your hands
And made a refuge for the weak and blessed
The weary, bruised, and broken
Took our sin. Inside Your wounds we hide away
Inside Your wounds we hide

i wonder
what exactly it is
you are preparing me for .

:)

i can`t wait
to find out more of you ,

putting on a mask .

i guess ,
it all comes down to this question .
one that surpasses even man`s obsession with love :
are you happy ?

true ; only ' love ' gives us that warmth ; filling that gaping hole in our hearts .
so we look for it everywhere .
but it won`t last ; sometimes ( actually ; most of the time ) even twisting to become ugly .

you think you`ll be fine . you`re pretty enough ; sweet enough ; nice enough ; some one is bound to notice you sooner or later ... right ?

but another day ; another heart ache .

how long will you keep dying inside ?
you may be ' strong ' , but again : are you happy ?

i find it really funny that you ask me questions , but you don`t really care about the answer .

so ... why do you ask me ?
you treat me like some pro who has all the answers , but only listen to the things you want to .

what i have learnt ;

don`t do it at your own time .
you never will ( have time ; or do it ) .

come
thirsty ;
with crusty , hard hearts ,
and drink
deeply .

<33

hear the sound of my breaking heart .

Hold My Heart - Tenth Avenue North <33

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

my
head
hurts
:(

town hall
is
loud
and busy
but interesting :)

i wonder why .
like every poet ; author ; artist ,
every little detail
has it`s reason .

all creation , thoughtfully engineered by its creator .

---

my comfort and my delight <33 .

everything - great or small ,
is in your hands .

and so , i surrender all to you .

you really
don`t know what you`ve got
until it`s gone .

it`s an old cliche ;
a lesson
that you keep telling yourself
you`ve learnt ,
but you still haven`t ,
had you ?

so learn to appreciate ;
love
and cherish
those people .

hold on ;
build up , and on ,
but also learn to let go
when you need to .

perhaps it`s simpler and closer than you`ve ever dreamed .

---

im so sorry ><; .
gah .
i dunno why im like that either ><; .
it`s unjustifiable , and i cant explain it .
sorry >w<; .
i wonder if you noticed .
iloveyou <33 .

---

your eyes are blacker than the velvet of the night , yet shine fiercer than the diamonds enfolded in them . forever twinkling , i can read no emotion in them , simply because they are too black .
( also , im a noob who wishes with all her heart that she could understand you , to love , protect and cherish you better . but cannot T_______T . )

your eyes are like cat eyes . sleek , smug and beautiful , like you .

your eyes have an other - worldly look about them . unfortunately , they are fake :( . still , they are mesmerising .

your eyes are tired . from screaming too much .

your eyes are just dull ; black . but when the light catches them at weird angles , and does weird , wonderful things to them , green , black , grey , brown and gold blend to produce a colour simply indescribable .

your eyes are so wide open all the time ; looking ; seeing . it felt weird to see them closed .

your eyes are the prettiest eyes i have ever seen . mischievous , yet sweet , just like your grin . though blacker than most , they shine so bright they make me smile :) .

your eyes are deep in thought a lot , or folded into the slight , barely visible frown lines etched into your face . i watch the gold flecks dance around , and wish you`d realise how simple it could be .

still , i would rather have the eyes of Love my Father has <33 .

---

i miss you :( .