Oh, you don't know me at all.
But neither do I. (See, I am not trying to blame/flame/whatever at all. I'm just saying.)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
All Yours.
You thought of us before the world began to breathe
You knew our names before we came to be
You saw the very day we fall away from you
and how desperately we need to be redeemed
Lord Jesus, come lead us
We're desperate for your touch
Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that you would reign that you would reign in us
we're offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that you would reign that you would reign in us
---
I seriously do not know what else to pray.
I am exhausted.
You knew our names before we came to be
You saw the very day we fall away from you
and how desperately we need to be redeemed
Lord Jesus, come lead us
We're desperate for your touch
Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that you would reign that you would reign in us
we're offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that you would reign that you would reign in us
---
I seriously do not know what else to pray.
I am exhausted.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Vanities.
There are soft fuzzy yellow circles
Hanging like crystals in front of you
You reach your hand out in wonderment.
It's almost romantic, the way they sparkle
Like the eyes of the girl in your mind
The flower in her hair
The diamonds around her elegant neck
She's yours
She smiles
So sweetly at the sight of you.
But when you reach out your hand to take hers
You meet nothing.
There you are, suspended in nothing
Thinking of the girl with the sweet smile
As she vanishes
And your tears pour out hot in frustration.
And the circles crystallize
The light refracts
All the more brilliantly.
Hanging like crystals in front of you
You reach your hand out in wonderment.
It's almost romantic, the way they sparkle
Like the eyes of the girl in your mind
The flower in her hair
The diamonds around her elegant neck
She's yours
She smiles
So sweetly at the sight of you.
But when you reach out your hand to take hers
You meet nothing.
There you are, suspended in nothing
Thinking of the girl with the sweet smile
As she vanishes
And your tears pour out hot in frustration.
And the circles crystallize
The light refracts
All the more brilliantly.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Hmm. Something to think about.
“Concerning the transgression of the wicked,” David observed that there is “no fear of God before his eyes.” The person described here is one we’ve all met many times, perhaps even in the mirror. This is the person who knows little about real reverence. He or she is self-sufficient, content to satisfy “self” in whatever way seems best at the moment. Reverence may be acceptable in theory, this person would say, but in practice it shouldn’t stand between us and the things we really desire.
Thanks Becki! ^_^
Thanks Becki! ^_^
Monday, September 6, 2010
You Hold Me Now- Hillsong United
On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free
Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone
No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day
Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your Name
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free
Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone
No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day
Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your Name
Closing In.
Empty walls,
Screaming your name.
---
On tumblr, on my dashboard, more than half the photos are of people kissing, people making out, people holding hands, people 'in love'.
Isn't it funny how so many of us girls reblog these things, and yet, in real life, how many guys we know are actually that sweet?
Is it that these photos are completely fake- completely composed? That there is no such thing as love? I don't believe so. Just maybe not love the way you think it is. And love, not so soon.
(Lol it's like:
Song of Solomon 2:7
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
!'
Screaming your name.
---
On tumblr, on my dashboard, more than half the photos are of people kissing, people making out, people holding hands, people 'in love'.
Isn't it funny how so many of us girls reblog these things, and yet, in real life, how many guys we know are actually that sweet?
Is it that these photos are completely fake- completely composed? That there is no such thing as love? I don't believe so. Just maybe not love the way you think it is. And love, not so soon.
(Lol it's like:
Song of Solomon 2:7
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
!'
Thankyou for Your Love :D
Day one: ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day two: nine things about yourself.
Day three: eight ways to win your heart.
Day four: seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day five: six things you wish you’d never done.
Day six: five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day seven: four turn offs.
Day eight: three turn ons.
Day nine: two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day ten: one confession
---
I'm tired, and just woke up from a long sleep, and feel like doing this instead of studying. Heh.
Sorry I don't have much time- I should be studying for eco!!! Argh- so this is going to be short and sweet, and from the heart.
1) Dear Jas:
I'm sorry I've been a terrible friend lately. Sorry =\. We've shared a lot of awesome memories (haha thinking of them makes me laugh xD). You make me laugh :).
2) Dear Renee:
HAHAHAHAHA you're such a funny kid :). You're the unique-est person I ever know- on the outside, you look like a uljjang tb (so pretty naturally- it looks like you're all made up, but it's all natural? Hehe), but on the inside you're even prettier!
3) Dear Mayo:
You make me laugh so much, noob! Hehehehehehehehe :). Words can't describe how nubcake you are. I love you so much sis! You are one amazing noooooooooooooooooob :).
4) Dear Elena:
You're beautiful- inside and out! God made you so strangely wonderful- I love the way you listen and care (though you know I'm not the greatest 'sharer' ><;), and your random spastic-ness that makes me laugh. But even beyond that, you have the strangest, weirdest thoughts? On people and life. It sounds cliche and dodgy, I know, but you're so 'deep and thoughtful and perceptive'. Sometimes, you see through people, right to the heart.
5) Dear Keely, Vicky, Nat, Orla, Kiwi, Minji, Dani (+ jas and mayo hehe): Where to begin? The first time I met you guys, I was the massivest noob everrrrrr. I was scared. Nervous. That trembling type, you know? Leaving butterflies in your tummy, and your hands shaking in nervous apprehension. But you guys were- how can I describe this in words?- so loving, and so supportive, and so funny (hehe) and completely accepting of me, from the very first day. We've been through a lot of random stuff- heaps of jokes, sometimes slight disagreements, awesome talks, and best of all- awesome fellowship! God bless you guys! I'm going to miss you year 12s sososososososososo muchly! :(
6) Dear Oli, JH, JC, Panda, Tony, Matt, Jono: Haha same goes to you guys xD. Right now, I'm smiling like a massive retard, thinking of you guys. You're so funny :) and noob at some times, but what makes me smile most of all is you guys' passion for Christ. You're always striving towards godliness, and I'm so proud of all of you!
7) Dear Stan, Man... Year 10. So fun xD. Good times pass quickly, ne? I love your (really really really really lame) jokes and wisecracks and puns, and your insults that totally make heaps of sense (hehe do we ever make sense xD?) and your noobness and your turtleness <33. But I also love the way you love and care so much, and when you're serious- you're serious and responsible. I hope I can be there anytime for you =33. Love you twoWIN!
8) Dear Allan: Heh. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB :). Jokes. I love you bro! I love talking to you, even though you insult me sometimes, and call me weird things other times (I'M A PINK FLOWER. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :) ), and you have a strange sense of humour. God made you special, and he's doing amazing things in you! :DDD I'm so happy to be part of it.
9) Dear Brendaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Lau :) : Dear sister, I know it's been really hard for you lately, and I'm sorry I'm not always there for you when you need me, and I'm sorry I'm not the best comforter or the best person to talk to when you're down. I'm sorry for a lot of things =\. But thankyou for so many things- you've taught me so many things about life, and me myself.
You make me appreciate the finer, spontaneous, strange things in life, you, with your amazing artiness (lol free spirit!), photos, lame jokes and complete randomness!
You make me laugh so much :). Love you, freakkkkkkk.
10) Dear Crush: (lol)
I've liked you now for... 5 months? Nearing 6.
And we still haven't progressed anywhere in our relationship, beyond the 'Hey sup?' 'Can I pray for you?' 'I'm fine thanks.'
I really admire you. Did you know that? You have no idea whatsoever that I like you :). It's quite funny. I think many other people have guessed.
But still, you still have no idea I exist sometimes xD. Our relationship is so awkward and weird- I have no idea where I stand with you.
But that's okay. Like, it's not because you don't like me- I know you care for me, as a brother- or because I'm not good conversation, or because I'm not 'pretty', or any of those things- you and I are so different- worlds apart, it feels like, sometimes.
I see you in the near future, with a beautiful wife and children- even more beautiful than you P;. You'd be an excellent father, and it makes me smile, just thinking of it. ^_______^
I don't 'require' you, or 'need' you or want to 'own' you- I just pray that you'll let me be your loving sister- helping to grow you, and love you. Sometimes, my feelings get in the way, though.
It's so hard. It gets annoying sometimes (my feelings, that is).
But I'm confident in Him- that he will keep growing you, into someone even more amazing than who you are today- in spite of me, and through me too, hopefully :).
On that note, despite still being attracted to you, I thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink it's gotten better now- I'm moving on from 'that phase', being distracted 'thinking of you'. Haha.
11) SHUSH I'M WAY OVER LIMIT, AND I'VE LEFT OUT HEAPS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO MEAN HEAPS TO ME (e.g. Lisa, Cath, BeD, Shirley, Bella, Carmen, Alison, GAH sorry I can't spend the next hour listing people :(. I love you guys so much!) BUT I WANNA DO ONE MORE.
Dear George:
Wow did you know it's almost exactly one year since we met? I don't know if you still remember (man I was such a noob back then. Still am, but you know :) )- it was at ISCF year 12 farewell. And you had that streamer around your head, and it left a funny blue mark on your face hehe :D.
Well, I went home thinking, 'Cool. I met this cool year 12 called George today', and almost would have forgotten about you (><;) when I bumped into you again on that Saturday! (Well, at least I thiiiiiink it was that exactly Saturday) It was at Angela Bee's party (She's such an amazing girl! Hehe), and we were like 'WHOAAAAAA. I know you!' xD. And then I added you on facebook. And wow. Even though I don't know you like really well or anything, I always love talking to you :). You always make me smile, with your encouraging words, and strange way of talking (lolololol) :D. You care so much about me/for me, as your little sister, and sometimes I feel 'Whoa, God, I don't deserve this. But thankyou anyway for your love, through all my amazing brothers and sisters and friends'.
Day two: nine things about yourself.
Day three: eight ways to win your heart.
Day four: seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day five: six things you wish you’d never done.
Day six: five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day seven: four turn offs.
Day eight: three turn ons.
Day nine: two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day ten: one confession
---
I'm tired, and just woke up from a long sleep, and feel like doing this instead of studying. Heh.
Sorry I don't have much time- I should be studying for eco!!! Argh- so this is going to be short and sweet, and from the heart.
1) Dear Jas:
I'm sorry I've been a terrible friend lately. Sorry =\. We've shared a lot of awesome memories (haha thinking of them makes me laugh xD). You make me laugh :).
2) Dear Renee:
HAHAHAHAHA you're such a funny kid :). You're the unique-est person I ever know- on the outside, you look like a uljjang tb (so pretty naturally- it looks like you're all made up, but it's all natural? Hehe), but on the inside you're even prettier!
3) Dear Mayo:
You make me laugh so much, noob! Hehehehehehehehe :). Words can't describe how nubcake you are. I love you so much sis! You are one amazing noooooooooooooooooob :).
4) Dear Elena:
You're beautiful- inside and out! God made you so strangely wonderful- I love the way you listen and care (though you know I'm not the greatest 'sharer' ><;), and your random spastic-ness that makes me laugh. But even beyond that, you have the strangest, weirdest thoughts? On people and life. It sounds cliche and dodgy, I know, but you're so 'deep and thoughtful and perceptive'. Sometimes, you see through people, right to the heart.
5) Dear Keely, Vicky, Nat, Orla, Kiwi, Minji, Dani (+ jas and mayo hehe): Where to begin? The first time I met you guys, I was the massivest noob everrrrrr. I was scared. Nervous. That trembling type, you know? Leaving butterflies in your tummy, and your hands shaking in nervous apprehension. But you guys were- how can I describe this in words?- so loving, and so supportive, and so funny (hehe) and completely accepting of me, from the very first day. We've been through a lot of random stuff- heaps of jokes, sometimes slight disagreements, awesome talks, and best of all- awesome fellowship! God bless you guys! I'm going to miss you year 12s sososososososososo muchly! :(
6) Dear Oli, JH, JC, Panda, Tony, Matt, Jono: Haha same goes to you guys xD. Right now, I'm smiling like a massive retard, thinking of you guys. You're so funny :) and noob at some times, but what makes me smile most of all is you guys' passion for Christ. You're always striving towards godliness, and I'm so proud of all of you!
7) Dear Stan, Man... Year 10. So fun xD. Good times pass quickly, ne? I love your (really really really really lame) jokes and wisecracks and puns, and your insults that totally make heaps of sense (hehe do we ever make sense xD?) and your noobness and your turtleness <33. But I also love the way you love and care so much, and when you're serious- you're serious and responsible. I hope I can be there anytime for you =33. Love you twoWIN!
8) Dear Allan: Heh. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB :). Jokes. I love you bro! I love talking to you, even though you insult me sometimes, and call me weird things other times (I'M A PINK FLOWER. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :) ), and you have a strange sense of humour. God made you special, and he's doing amazing things in you! :DDD I'm so happy to be part of it.
9) Dear Brendaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Lau :) : Dear sister, I know it's been really hard for you lately, and I'm sorry I'm not always there for you when you need me, and I'm sorry I'm not the best comforter or the best person to talk to when you're down. I'm sorry for a lot of things =\. But thankyou for so many things- you've taught me so many things about life, and me myself.
You make me appreciate the finer, spontaneous, strange things in life, you, with your amazing artiness (lol free spirit!), photos, lame jokes and complete randomness!
You make me laugh so much :). Love you, freakkkkkkk.
10) Dear Crush: (lol)
I've liked you now for... 5 months? Nearing 6.
And we still haven't progressed anywhere in our relationship, beyond the 'Hey sup?' 'Can I pray for you?' 'I'm fine thanks.'
I really admire you. Did you know that? You have no idea whatsoever that I like you :). It's quite funny. I think many other people have guessed.
But still, you still have no idea I exist sometimes xD. Our relationship is so awkward and weird- I have no idea where I stand with you.
But that's okay. Like, it's not because you don't like me- I know you care for me, as a brother- or because I'm not good conversation, or because I'm not 'pretty', or any of those things- you and I are so different- worlds apart, it feels like, sometimes.
I see you in the near future, with a beautiful wife and children- even more beautiful than you P;. You'd be an excellent father, and it makes me smile, just thinking of it. ^_______^
I don't 'require' you, or 'need' you or want to 'own' you- I just pray that you'll let me be your loving sister- helping to grow you, and love you. Sometimes, my feelings get in the way, though.
It's so hard. It gets annoying sometimes (my feelings, that is).
But I'm confident in Him- that he will keep growing you, into someone even more amazing than who you are today- in spite of me, and through me too, hopefully :).
On that note, despite still being attracted to you, I thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink it's gotten better now- I'm moving on from 'that phase', being distracted 'thinking of you'. Haha.
11) SHUSH I'M WAY OVER LIMIT, AND I'VE LEFT OUT HEAPS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO MEAN HEAPS TO ME (e.g. Lisa, Cath, BeD, Shirley, Bella, Carmen, Alison, GAH sorry I can't spend the next hour listing people :(. I love you guys so much!) BUT I WANNA DO ONE MORE.
Dear George:
Wow did you know it's almost exactly one year since we met? I don't know if you still remember (man I was such a noob back then. Still am, but you know :) )- it was at ISCF year 12 farewell. And you had that streamer around your head, and it left a funny blue mark on your face hehe :D.
Well, I went home thinking, 'Cool. I met this cool year 12 called George today', and almost would have forgotten about you (><;) when I bumped into you again on that Saturday! (Well, at least I thiiiiiink it was that exactly Saturday) It was at Angela Bee's party (She's such an amazing girl! Hehe), and we were like 'WHOAAAAAA. I know you!' xD. And then I added you on facebook. And wow. Even though I don't know you like really well or anything, I always love talking to you :). You always make me smile, with your encouraging words, and strange way of talking (lolololol) :D. You care so much about me/for me, as your little sister, and sometimes I feel 'Whoa, God, I don't deserve this. But thankyou anyway for your love, through all my amazing brothers and sisters and friends'.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Our Disease.
Ever seeing but never seeing.
Ever hearing, but never taking to heart,
Are you&&I, stubborn, stubborn people.
And yet, if you ever read this- chances are, you won't- you'll simply nod wisely;
'I know right. I so agree',
And never see that
Maybe it lies in you
And it's so hard to get through to you
I just want to love you
But you think that you and I are fine
But we're not fine-
We're going down,
And we're blind
And we think we're fine
And can see
You don't have to care for what I say-
I don't care if you don't.
But it's not my words I'm speaking.
At the same time, me too.
If I'm ever being prideful and stubborn, tell me so.
Ever hearing, but never taking to heart,
Are you&&I, stubborn, stubborn people.
And yet, if you ever read this- chances are, you won't- you'll simply nod wisely;
'I know right. I so agree',
And never see that
Maybe it lies in you
And it's so hard to get through to you
I just want to love you
But you think that you and I are fine
But we're not fine-
We're going down,
And we're blind
And we think we're fine
And can see
You don't have to care for what I say-
I don't care if you don't.
But it's not my words I'm speaking.
At the same time, me too.
If I'm ever being prideful and stubborn, tell me so.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Blame
Pass it around,
Like Hot Potato-
Oh, all the better if it drops.
Let us forget the smush underfoot.
Tell me, tell me.
Are you any better than reality?
Like Hot Potato-
Oh, all the better if it drops.
Let us forget the smush underfoot.
Tell me, tell me.
Are you any better than reality?
Maybe.
Did you forget
How it felt
To be forgotten?
Very well,
Farewell my friend.
I'll be here waiting
For you to come home.
In the meantime,
I'll just love you absently.
---
There was a time, maybe,
When I would have waited for you forever
Pining away
Stewing in my own insecurities.
But I am the strong one now.
Not by my own strength, but by one who will never leave me
As you
Never cared.
How it felt
To be forgotten?
Very well,
Farewell my friend.
I'll be here waiting
For you to come home.
In the meantime,
I'll just love you absently.
---
There was a time, maybe,
When I would have waited for you forever
Pining away
Stewing in my own insecurities.
But I am the strong one now.
Not by my own strength, but by one who will never leave me
As you
Never cared.
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