♥ 陪我長大

i guess i want to know .
but i`ll never know .
cause it doesn`t matter
anyway .

im sorry im so curious =33 .

... maybe i`ll find out when we meet up there again , ne ? ^_^

for now , all we need to know is right here ...
let`s go searching to find it ,
together :) .

---

oops just paper - cutted my finger =33 .
despite how pretty bright red blood ( yay im not iron deficient :D ) looks on white tissue , it really is quite disgusting xD .
especially when it turns brown and crusty ._. .
eww =33 .

im surprised im not feeling squeamish , for once .

... and im surprised im not having a massive pity party .

yes , i`ll just have to deal with it .

im such a little girl sometimes ._. .

- smiles bravely -

will grow up ...

---

spoilt little girl can`t deal with a little physical pain ?

get over it .

think you know what it feels like to hurt ?
inside & outside .
totally alone .

look towards the cross , blessed little one .

and be thankful that you don`t have to bear even your own burdens anymore , let alone the whole world`s ,
on your shoulders .

the emotional me .

i am ice queen .
cool ; calm ; smart ; confident .
melt me if you may .

make me smile ; make me laugh .
( not very hard to )
melt me .
( at all )

i retreat into my own little shell of a container .

but , like water , i bend easily ; at will .
liquid ; runny fluid i am , i will do anything you want .

pour me out , pour me back in . drink me , spit me out . filter me , pollute me .

i can`t help it .

---

well i was .

now i resist even you .
despite saving me from that .

reasoning ( ded to you luke xD )

before you actually say anything , it`s not what you think .

i guess we never really consider this when we make a judgement .

but it never is , really what you think .
there will always be something small ; overlooked , no matter how many explanations made .

personalities overlooked .

in the end , anything is completely ' justifiable ' in light of everything that has happened , in combination with our personalities .

but i do not believe personalities are justifiable .

yes ; we`re all like ' this ' . but leaving it be is just not good enough .

leaving yourself wallowing in self pity , lust , anger ...

if you`re given a chance to change , why don`t you take it ? ._.

arms high && heart abandoned .

hahaha .
i think my favourite song is now ' the Stand - Hillsong ' .

not just like a random phase .
cause i haven`t had a proper favourite song for aaaaaaages .

really ; i love the melody .
but most of all i love the lyrics .

so what can i say ?
what can i do ?
but offer this heart , O God ;
completely to you .

my heart ; your heart ; our hearts .

seriously , i don`t know what else i can do .
cause there`s nothing else i can do .

you simply call me to lay it all on you .
good ; bad ; glory ; shame .

watch ; wait ; listen ; respond .
but leave it all to you .

---

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

fail at failing :)

Boston - Augustana

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone
Oh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost
Eyes are red
And tears are shed
The world you must have crossed
You said

You don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
She said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeah
Yeah

Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts
Across an open field
When flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones
Who cry when they see you
You said

You don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
She said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeah

She said I think I'll go to Boston
Think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
Think I'll get a lover
And fly him out to Spain
I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of Sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice
Oh yeah

Boston
No one knows my name
Yeah
No one knows my name
No one knows my name
Yeah

Boston
No one knows my name

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haha thankyou kwan . i like this song very much :) .
i like your music taste :) .
it`s very different but refreshing ? lol .

maybe i`ll learn it on piano some day ^_^ .

but for the record , i actually enjoy listening to asian music :D .
including like , bubblegum pop which you`d probably find annoying xD .

but the mario kart love song is so cute =33 .
hahahahaha xD .

have fun at black stump ^_^ .

---

OMGSH . cleaning my desk .
well , not really .

2 minutes into cleaning :
- takes a break ; drinks asian tea ; fbooks for like half an hour -

FAIL .

---

but no allan , i do not fail at failing HAHA .

with every spiritual blessing ~

smiling .
lifted up ;
close to you .

&& my weak arms and knees shake .

in your presence , i feel so sinful =\ .
yet , you withhold nothing from us .

all your love .
every spiritual blessing .

leaning
on you .

in love :) .

i would like to drown myself in your love :) .
cause it doesn`t even feel like drowning :D .

flying ; soaring .